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May 13, 2015
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The beach is a double-edged sword when it comes to visuals. On one hand, it's a place where you can see heaven on earth in the form of sexy women prancing around in eye-poppingly scandalous swimwear.

beach doucheGIF via Theapricity.com

However, every once in a while, it also becomes the habitat of the douchebagis humanus, a human sub-species shunned by the rest of the population because of bad attitude and an equally-bad taste in clothes. Tell us, wouldn't you want to GTFO if you see this:

beach doucheGIF via Imgbuddy.com

The thing is, we all can be mistaken for douchebags not because we're jerks but because of the things we wear. So, if you don't want to experience this sad dilemma on the happiest place to be this summer, better read on to know how NOT to look like a total douche on the beach.


NO TO LAME STATEMENT SHIRTS

beach doucheImage via Ebay.co.uk

Nope, that "I'm a 100-percent chick magnet" label on your shirt won't help you get laid. It might even have the opposite effect: girls running away because you reek of kayabangan.


NO TO BODY-HUGGING OUTFITS

beach doucheGIF via Gifsoup.com

There's nothing sexy with wearing that sando you wore when you're 14 now that you're 30. It's a desperate attempt to say "I've got the guns, hun!" Plus, it probably feels super uncomfortable wearing something several sizes smaller than what's recommended. However, if we're talking about gals...


NO TO BLING

beach doucheGIF via Funnyordie.com

Nope, the beach isn't and shouldn't be the setting for another Lil' Wayne video, so take all your oversized, heavy, and blindingly-shiny bling elsewhere. We don't want our eyes to bleed, thank you.


NO TO PAPER RAIN

beach doucheGIF via Giphy.com

Excessively showing off your dough in the beach means either you want to be robbed or you're overcompensating for something. Whatever the case, just don't do it.


NO TO THE BASKETBALL JERSEY-BANDANA COMBO

beach doucheGIF via Degrassi.wikia.com

It's okay to wear a bandana or a b-ball jersey on the beach, but not both at the same time. What are you? A hoops-lovin' member of a street gang?


NO TO ECCENTRIC SHADES

beach doucheGIF via Mean Jeans

We're good with wearing a nice pair of shades. In fact, we recommend it for helping you see better under the hot summer sun. Just lay off those weird-looking ones. They'll totally look out of place on the beach.

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NO TO SUPER LOW-WAIST SHORTS/PANTS

beach doucheGIF via Reddit.com

The super low-waist style won't make you look cooler than your bros who wear shorts or pants the normal way. It just looks so uncomfortable, and it probably is.


NO TO HUGE TEE HOLES

beach doucheImage via Deejspeaks.com

You're forgiven if the huge hole on your shirt was caused by something natural, like a hungry shark trying to take a nibble of your torso. But if it's artificially made (e.g. it's part of the design or you intentionally made it) then, nope. If you really want to show off your muscles, then just take your shirt off. You'll look more natural, which is the way to go when on the beach.

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