Any fashionista worth his spanking-new Roshe Runs (Is it ro-shay or rosh? We have no idea, really) knows the importance of being #legit. Sure, it’s one thing to know that you’re never, ever supposed to wear socks with your suddenly-trendy-again Birks, but before walking the talk, you have to know how to talk the talk, first.
Why does it matter? Because, well, that fashion blogger chick you’re trying to get with is so going to bust your feelingero ass the moment she hears you mispronounce Louboutin—and she’ll be walking away in them while you feel like a total idiot.
Plus, there’s a certain impressive class and sophistication when you know your Givenchys from your Giordanos. So here’s a crash course on tricky fashion brand names, in case you ever wondered how to pronounce certain labels the next time you buy something for your girl (or yourself, you fancy, fancy man!), plus a cheat sheet if you can’t be bothered.
What it is: A fancy (read: expensive) shoe brand. Your girl would probably have a couple of styles from this brand in her Dream Purchases Pinterest board.
Say it: Christian Lu-boo-tun (as in fun)
Cheat it: All the girls say Loubs (loobs, as in boobs—yay!) for short. Sounds, um, gay, though, when you say it. And you might say "boobs" accidentally—“Hey honey, ganda ng boobs niya oh. Loubs! I meant Loubs! Aw, shit!"
What it is: A top-tier fashion house along the lines of Prada, Chanel, and LV. The brand is often name-checked by rich rappers like Kanye who can afford their wares. If you’re in the mood to save up for anything, their wallets are ace.
Say it: Jhee-vhan-shee
Cheat it: Um, try not saying it. No shortcuts for this one.
COMME DES GARCONS
What it is: You know that shirt your girlfriend got you in Greenhills with the weird red heart with eyes on it? Yep, that’s one of this brand’s more popular styles.
Say it: Comb-day-gah-sawng
Cheat it: Any fasyon person will just call it CDG (it also saves you lots of saliva—same with LV for Louis Vuitton).
What it is: That huge “H” buckle on your boss’ belt? Yup, this luxury leather goods brand has long been a favorite among the classier set. This is why you should always be careful when gifting your girl with an orange box.
Say it: Err-mezz
Cheat it: Say air-mess with a fancy roll of the tongue on the “R”
What it is: Ah, your '90s man-drobe consisted of nothing but knock-offs from this brand. This classic American designer brand is famous for denim and casual wear, very much like Ralph Lauren (Lo-ran—or RL, for the initiated).
Say it: Tommy Hill-fig-(h)er
Cheat it: For maximum douchebaggery but minimum effort, say Tommy Hil. All your rich friends used to say it like that, right?
What it is: Not to be confused with Herschel (Her-shell), both makers of quality bags you can lug around and abuse but still look good, Hedgren is a Belgian brand that’s recently revamped their style (read: less school-bag, more manly weekender bag).
Say it: Hedge-rhen
Cheat it: If you’re paranoid that you’ll still be wrong, just say it really fast (people will just assume you sneezed).
What it is: You know those different colored tote bags every girl and her sister are bringing around? The one with the tiny horse galloping over the flap? Yep, we can’t believe those cost over 3,000 bucks either. But we guess simplicity really is beauty (and beauty is always expensive, as our girlfriends like to say).
Say it: Long-shamp (soft “c”)
Cheat it: Just call it her “nice everyday bag” if you can’t be bothered.
What it is: Casual clothing wear along the lines of Gap, Old Navy, and Banana Rep (rich kids, unite!). Good shirts and jeans for weekends, if you’re willing to spend a few extra bucks.
Say it: Arrow-post-stahl
Cheat it: When you’re feeling high-class and are on the verge of saying “pos-tally” just remember its “post-all.”
What it is: How can you not pronounce the only place you’ve been buying wallets from since your first girlfriend gifted you with one way back in high school?
Say it: Jir-bow
Cheat it: Just call to mind Jamie Foxx in Tarantino’s classic, Django: “The D is silent.”
What it is: When Gianni Versace was shot dead way back when, the whole world pretty much learned how to pronounce his name. Make sure you never forget even if you never buy anything from this classic Italian brand.
Say it: Ver-suh-chee
Cheat it: Face it, with all the other fancy brands your girlfriend is lusting over (that are even more hassle to pronounce), we might not have much occasion for saying “Versace."
Get all the dirt on these super-powered New Yorkers before watching the epic Netflix crossover
The siege is the flash-point of what terrorism research expert professor Rommel Banlaoi says is a problem we shouldn’t have ignored when the Maute group first made their presence felt
We want everything she's wearing
Japanese pro-eater Takeru Kobayashi added more world records to his resume
This particular incident crossed the line #JusticeForKian