A long-married woman told her husband that he should experiment with eating her pussy, because she heard it was a thrilling experience. The husband, who had never heard of such a thing, went manfully to the task. The taste wasn't bad but the smell was overpowering. Suddenly the wife orgasmed and, simultaneously, emmitted a tremendous fart.
"thank God," sighed the husband, "for a breath of fresh air!"
A guy walks into a single bar carrying a shoebox.
He walks up to a gorgeous lady.
"Hi," he says.
She ignores him.
"I have in this box a trained frog that eats pussy like it's never been eaten before."
She opens the box and sees a bullfrog with a long tongue.
"I'd like to see you prove it," she says.
"Take me to your apartment and I will."
They go to her place, where she proceeds to strip naked on her bed. The man takes out the frog and puts it between her legs. The frog sits there and doesn't move.
"Well?" The lady ask.
"Okay, @$$h0l3," the guy says to the frog. "This is the last time I show you how it's done!!"
Adam and Eve f*** for the first time. After they're done, God comes to them and asks Adam, "How did you like sex?"
"I loved it," Adam replies.
"And did Eve think the same?"
"Yes. I know she loved it just as much as I did."
"By the way, where is Eve?" God asks.
"She's down by the river, washing up," Adam tells God.
Suddenly, God gets very pissed off. Thunder and lightning appear, and God curses a blue streak.
"What is wrong Lord?" Adam asks.
"What's wrong?" God roars. "Eve is washing in the river! I'll never get that smell out of the fish!"