8 Movie Primates That Make Us Go Ape-Shit

Mighty Joe Young
The movie: Mighty Joe Young

We think we like this film more for the fact that it stars the sexy stunner that is Ms. Charlize Theron than the actual ape. Mighty Joe Young is a remake of a 1949 classic. Jill (played by Theron) experiences trauma when a relentless poacher kills her mother, as well as Joe’s. She vows to take care of Joe–an ape the size of about three boulders–and find their mother’s murderer. MJY makes this list because of the friendship he builds with Jill. Imagine having a giant ape as your personal bodyguard and means of travel: a big F.U. to bullies and traffic!

Drug-peddling Capuchin monkey
The movie: Hangover 2
A lot of what made the sequel to the Hangover successful was the crass humor, politically incorrect jokes and the chain-smoking monkey. Clad in 80s punk attire, this equally rude and charming lason ng lipunan peddled primo Bangkok cocaine. Training animals to deal drugs… well, think of it this way, at least scoring your shit will be as easy as having a bunch of bananas on hand.

Suzanne
The movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Although the movie may not be cult-director Kevin Smith’s (Clerks, Mall Rats, Chasing Amy) obra maestra, the movie still promises laugh-out-loud moments, provided you’re baked out of your head. Filled with tons of cameos (From Will Ferrell to Chris Rock to Ben Affleck), the film follows our two favorite stoner friends as they head out to Hollywood. Of course on the way, action happens: They break into an animal facility, find Suzanne, who then becomes an ally in their journey. Snoochie Boochies!

Bone-bashing Prehistoric Primate
The movie: 2001: A Space Odyssey
If by now, you still haven’t seen master auteur Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, best you do, now! The film is a sick look at the future and how artificial intelligence threatens to take over. In one memorable scene, the audience is treated to some prehistoric apes in their most primal: knocking heads, acting as apes should. Then, a mysterious black monolith hovers over the land; the monkeys gain some intelligence. Bones have never been so handy! Yay evolution!

Jack
The movie: Pirates of the Caribbean 
Everybody loves a sidekick and Captain Barbossa, Jack Sparrow’s nemesis, has his in the form of an undead monkey. In an attempt at poking humor at his namesake, Barbossa decides to name his little partner Jack. And what do we love most about Jack: He’s possibly cinema’s first zombie monkey!

Ari
The movie: Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes
Helena Bonhmam Carter’s portrayal of this female ape struck horror in the hearts–and loins–of the male movie going audience. This writer remembers watching the film and as Ari and Mark Wahlberg’s character go in for that first kiss, a big “Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww” resonates through the dark theater. Well, Tim Burton must have a monkey fetish, because he wedded and bedded the actress after meeting her on set. Enough said.

Rage Virus-Infected Monkey
The movie: 28 Days Later
Now this is the monkey responsible for making people go literally ape-shit! In Danny Boyle’s creative take of the zombie movie, there’s a prologue featuring a bloody-eyed monkey wreaking havoc on a medical facility. This monkey is the carrier of the Rage Virus–a sickness that leaves the infected undead… but with a thirst for blood and a Kenyan runners' speed. Never has horror looked so cute and cuddly… till the monkey bites-off your throat and leaves you bleeding out.

King Kong
The movie: King Kong
Cinema’s most famous primate, taking the crown has definitely got to be King Kong. This fictional gorilla monster has appeared in three films and has starred opposite the likes of Jessica Lange and Naomi Watts. A misunderstood creature caught in the wild and brought to the Big Apple. Enraged and in need of something to climb, he scales the Empire State Building, searing a nostalgic image in everyone’s heads and making his mark in the history of monkey movies. Chest pounds in this one are aplenty.