Got holes?

A lady dies and goes to heaven. She arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by St. Peter. There were a few people waiting before her, so she strikes up a conversation with the cock-bearing saint. They were deep in discussion when suddenly she hears a blood-curdling scream. “What was that?” she asked. “Oh, don’t worry about that,” said St. Peter. “It’s just someone getting a hole drilled in their head so they can be fitted for their halo.” A few seconds later, she hears another agonized scream, more terrible than the previous one. “What was that?” “Oh, don’t worry,” again said St. Peter soothingly. “It’s just someone getting holes drilled in their back so they can be fitted for their wings.” Upon hearing this, the lady starts to back away. “Where are you going?” inquired St. Peter. “I think I’ll go downstairs,” answers the lady. “But you can’t go there. You’ll be raped and sodomized!” “It’s okay,” she notes. “I’ve already got the holes for that.”

JAN RAY SOLEDAD, ZAMBOANGA CITY

ILLUSTRATION BY: MIKKE GALLARDO