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ILLUSTRATION BY JAYSON CONFESOR
SENT VIA EMAIL BY: JOEFREY

My classmates and I slept over at a group mate’s house after working on our thesis. Due to lack of space, we were confined to the host’s room. I woke up at 4AM feeling the need to pee, but hesitated to go to the comfort room because I’d have to walk through his siblings, who were all sound asleep in the sala. A brilliant idea came upon me when I saw a bottle of green tea: Pee in it. Then put it on the windowsill so I’d be reminded the next to throw it away. I went back to sleep and woke up around 8AM. A horrible sight greeted me: A group mate was drinking from the bottle I’d peed on! It was too late to stop him, so I just kept mum. But that’s not to say I didn’t share the story to my other group mates. We laughed our ass off when the poor dude said, “Iba na pala lasa ng green tea na yan pag hindi na ganun kalamig ’no? Parang may amoy na siya.” Soon I had to tell him the truth, and as soon as I did he threw the bottle out the window and brushed his teeth till his mouth bled.