If there’s anything to be learned from Gravity, the new outer space survival drama headlined by Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, it’s that we Earth-dwelling humans take gravity for granted.
In the film, a space mission hits the pits when an accident leaves medical engineer Ryan Stone (Bullock) and astronaut Matt Kowalski (Clooney) floating in outer space. With oxygen and time running out, they must navigate amid the stars to safety, fighting against zero gravity.
The film is an audiovisual spectacle best experienced on IMAX and in 3D. The weightlessness the characters embody throughout provides a poignant and discomforting look at the horrific experience of being left adrift in a limitless galaxy.
There’s a lot to be thankful for when it comes to one of Newton’s major discoveries. Having your feet on the ground is almost always recommended and the film had us wondering why we don’t give gravity the due credit it deserves. So here we give a hearty cheers to gravity with some of the reasons why we can’t be any more thankful for its existence.
1) THE EXPULSION OF BODILY FLUIDS
Imagine someone sneezing or puking, and instead of all that nasty grime making its way to the floor, it floats around, waiting for your face (or worse, your mouth) to become its targeted landing point. Boogers, mucus, and bits of undigested spaghetti and stomach acid: not our idea of a fun facial.
At least possessed girls won't get their shirts dirty anymore.
2) THE APPRECIATION OF BIG BEWBS
FHM prides itself on the adoration for all types of womanly figures. But among our favorites are the bombshells, whose big breasts and killer curves are the stuff of masturbatory fantasies. Without gravity, the appreciation for big boobs would probably be skewed and having a flat chest would probably be considered more practical–unless women enjoyed having their eyes poked by their nipples.
Men though would enjoy seeing that top lift itself on its own.
3) ANTI-GRAVITY SEX: NOT SEXY (OR IS IT?)
Though a ton of new sex moves could be invented in zero gravity, it may take some time for mankind’s inner-manyak to sexually persevere in that sort of atmosphere. Without gravity, the missionary position would be mission impossible. Her on top (reverse cowgirl or otherwise) would be a feat too. Just cling on and do your best weightless thrust-and-pump–and good luck keeping that condom on.
Whether you're at space or on earth, your "o-face" will likely look just as silly.
NEXT: Have you ever taken a dump in space?
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