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Apr 21, 2017
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When it was announced that TV5 would be the new home for World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) starting April 30, people immediately asked in jest if the episodes woould be given the Pinoy treatment.

The network is known for its oft-funny job of Tagalizing foreign movies and TV shows, and it's quite cool that their social media team knows how to be self-deprecating, using the running joke to their advantage.

With everyone pitching in to make sure that the hilarity continues, FHM also has a few suggestions to appease the wrestling faithful.

These things might just make a local-sounding Raw or SmackDown more bearable.


1) Do the same thing with classic matches

Take us back to when storylines were campy as hell and gimmicks were ridiculously amusing. The WWE's glory days were defined by the colorful ring names and finishing moves, entertainment elements just waiting to be translated into Filipino. You can't go wrong with localizing the 2005 Royal Rumble or the WrestleMania III headliner between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.

2) Use OPM for entrance themes

Loyal viewers may find this blasphemous, but since we'll start calling wrestling matches in Tagalog, why not push the envelope? A handful of Pinoy artists are more than qualified to hype up the crowd while a big-name performer makes his/her way to the ring. Wolfgang's "Halik Ni Hudas" for Kane? Gloc-9's "Hoy" for John Cena?

3) Think of an alternate translation for the word 'suck'

A handful of wrestlers are associated with the expression, like Kurt Angle ("You suck!") and Booker T ("Can you dig it, sucka?!"). Imagine Triple H and Shawn Michaels busting out that explicit DX gesture while leading the crowd with a "Sipsipin mo!" chant. That's just gross (and hilarious). 

4) Have Magoo Marjon do the local dubs

While he isn't on the same level as WWE's legendary commentator Jim Ross, it probably won't take long for the PBA's master of catchphrases to popularize a couple of wrestling taglines. If only the late boxing expert Ronnie Nathanielsz were still with us, his insightful eloquence would perfectly complement Magoo's animated style.

 

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