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Dec 4, 2014
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Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne, the shit-for-brains but oh-so-lovable duo behind Dumb and Dumber, are back for more moronic antics in Dumb and Dumber To (get it?).

Jim Carrey (Lloyd) and Jeff Daniels (Harry) reprise their respective roles, and this time around, they go on an epic road trip to find the child that Harry never knew he had. Although making a sequel 20 years after the original might’ve sounded like a genius idea, word around the web says that maybe they should’ve kept this dim-bulb script about these two clowns hidden away from society.

Not even a cameo from J-Law could save this hot mess. The 1994 film succeeded in maximizing the comedic potential of its two stars through zany physical comedy, crude punch lines, and a sly wit-through-the-witless style of writing. Sadly, Dumb and Dumber To gets an easy “F” compared to its predecessor.

So since there aren’t too many great things about this sequel (or the one before it, Dumb And Dumberer), here’s a list of some of the entertainingly stupid things the first movie had to offer. Learn from these adorable dimwits and save yourself the embarrassment of being labeled as the “dumbest.” 


1)   SALT IN THE WOUND

In an effort to balance out his good luck, Harry carelessly tosses a saltshaker over his shoulder. He hits an unsuspecting patron, who also happens to be brawny-as-fuck.


Lesson learned: If you don’t want hocked-up phlegm in your food, try not to toss around condiments.  


2)   NOT SILENT BUT DEADLY

This infamous dream sequence features Lloyd trying to impress a haughty group of Aspen vacationers. He lights up their Christmas by putting a lighter to his buttocks and ripping a big one. You probably can figure out what happens next.

Lesson learned: Blatantly farting during social gatherings is a taboo in itself. Burning up your guests with a blaze of gas is just plain rude.  


3)   POLE-LICKING IS A NO-NO

Trying to impress Lauren Holly’s Mary Swanson, Harry gives the cable car’s pole a taste of his tongue prowess, and of course, he’s met by the cold bite of stupidity. 


Lesson learned: Tongues and frosted poles are not meant to go together, as proven by one of the film’s most hilarious (and painful) scenes.


4)   THE TOILET SCENE

Diarrhea strikes when Harry goes to Mary’s place right before they head out to paint the town red. The face and sounds he makes are epic to say the least. Well, shit happens.

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Lesson learned: It’s romantic to unload before a date with the ladylove.


5)   THE PROBLEM WITH PEPPER

Lloyd and Harry try to compete with each other for fastest eater. The edibles in question, however, are some of the spiciest peppers in the world.

Lesson learned: When it comes to chili, chill out before you end up spewing smoke from your ears.


6)   UP FOR A GLOVE-OFF?

Harry discovers that Lloyd is sporting an extra pair of winter gloves when he proclaims his icy misery. Instead of appreciating the gesture, Harry loses it over his BFF’s holding out. 

Lesson learned: Don’t let your best bud freeze his ass off!


7)   HELL YEAH, BIKINI BABES!

When you’re jobless, down on your luck, and stranded in the middle of the desert and a bus filled with bikini-clad Hawaiian Tropic babes offers you a job as their oil boy, there should be no reason to resist. Somehow, Lloyd and Harry still manage to screw this awesome opportunity up.

Lesson learned: If chicks in bottom-baring, cleavage-showing swimsuits ask you to go on a wild ride, don’t be dumb. The smart thing to do would be to just jump in and let nature take its course.

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