Let's face it: The illegal drug business is a menace we probably won't get rid of in this lifetime. On the other side of the coin, the lives of the most notorious drug lords in the world make for really good TV. Exhibit A: the Netflix Originals series Narcos, which profiles the lives of the top narcotraficantes in history. Seasons 1 and 2 told the story of Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) Agents Steve Murphy and Javier Peña's hunt for legendary cocaine kingpin Pablo Escobar, and the series is nearly as addicting as shabu.
Now, if given a choice, who would you rather be: Escobar or Murphy? Take this quiz to find out where you'd really stand!
Which Narcos character are you?
There's a piece of your all-time favorite candy on your absent coworker's desk, and you're craving for it so badly. What do you do?
Nick it when the coast is clear. All's fair in love and war…and food.
Head down to the convenience store to buy a whole pack of the stuff.
An online acquaintance is calling you out on Facebook for your political opinions. What do you do?
Unfriend, unfollow, and block. As far as you're concerned, no one should impose their beliefs upon you.
Thoroughly explain your side of the coin to the troll so he can (hopefully) see your point.
Your phone pings with a new text: "Hi bagong roaming ko ito pls text back." How do you deal with text scammers?
You engage him in a long-winding convo, dragging your entire imaginary family into your exchange ("'Yung sapatos ni Junjun, nabili mo na daw ba?"), before going in for the kill via a savage "joke's on you!" parting shot.
You ignore him. You've got better things to do than that!
You're sharing a box of pizza with your friends, and there's one last slice waiting to be devoured. No one seems interested in touching it, for some reason. What do you do?
Take it for yourself. Kung ayaw niyo, eh di 'wag!
Divide the slice by the number of people in your barkada. Hating kaibigan dapat!
The staff at the restaurant you're eating at for dinner is especially inattentive—you've called your server's attention thrice, and he still hasn't given your bill yet. Do you…
Make sure your server can feel your wrath by giving him a stern dressing down when he finally appears?
Stay civil, but later write a negative review on social media?
It's raining cats and dogs during your commute home. You manage to hail a cab, but the driver turns you down with an unapologetic "ang layo naman po." What do you do?
You bribe the guy with a P100 tip. Money's the only thing these jerks need, really.
You report the cab to the LTFRB…and leave the cab's door open while you're at it.
The girl you've been making the moves on just told you she's already dating someone else—Through FB message, no less. How do you cope?
You tell the other guy that the girl has an incurable STD. Heh.
You have an inuman sesh with your tropa. Beer can heal all wounds, right?
You just got off from a long day at work to find that some a-hole dented your car. What do you do?
You ask for the parking lot's CCTV footage, hunt down the offender, and ruthlessly key the SOB's vehicle.
You ask for the parking lot's CCTV footage, hunt down the offender, and let him know that you're expecting him to pay for the damage to your car.
Your favorite sports store's having a clearance sale, and you find a pair of shoes you've been lusting over for a long time on the racks, at 70% off in your size! It's clearly meant to be…until some jerk swipes your dream kicks from right under your nose. How do you deal?
You confront the dude. "Pare, kinuha ko na 'yan eh. Akin na 'yan, baka masuntok pa kita."
You flag down a sales assistant—maybe there's another pair in the back. (kung wala, eh di wala. Sapatos lang 'yan.)
Photo via Netflix