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UAAP Recruitment Wars: Why Stop At Cars And Condos?

Although we here at FHM don’t approve of the overly indulgent recruitment strategies today, we feel schools can do better with their offers. That’s why we thought it would be fun to suggest a specific (and totally stupid) recruitment pitch for each of the eight UAAP teams.

Feb 6, 2014
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In just a few weeks, high school will be over. Students will take the next step in their scholarly pursuits by applying for college. But for extremely talented athletes, they won’t have to go through the painstaking process because colleges are already waiting for them with open arms and let’s face it, open wallets.

In the UAAP, the recruitment war has never been this cutthroat. Prep stars switch school loyalties as quick as Justin Bieber in bed. It’s not lost on basketball fans that some programs recruit high school prospects with all their mighty promises and even mightier moolah. Scholarships and meal allowance just won’t cut it anymore. While it’s illegal, rumors circulate that some schools offer cars, condo units, and even personal butlers.

But why stop there? Although we here at FHM don’t approve of the overly indulgent recruitment strategies today, we feel schools can do better with their offers. That’s why we thought it would be fun to suggest a specific (and totally stupid) recruitment pitch for each of the eight UAAP teams. With this, high school superstars will have a more difficult time choosing a college.  

 
ADAMSON SOARING FALCONS

FHM's suggested offer: A real pet falcon

Forget those adorable foreign-bred cats or exotic reptiles in little aquariums, Adamson should reward a new recruit a real falcon for a pet. How cool would that be? He'll probably be the only person in the archipelago with a falcon. He can perch it on his arm and stroll alongside the dog-walking socialites in Serendra. He can also bring it to the games and have it swoop over the opponent’s bench. Besides, it would be a terrific conversation starter with cute colegialas watching the UAAP. "Want to pet my birdie?"

Or 'stead of giving them condo units, why not house them on Camp Big Falcon?

Alternative: Game-worn goggles of former Adamson star (and now assistant coach) Marlou Aquino


ATENEO BLUE EAGLES

FHM's suggested offer: Own reality show on TV5

It's no secret that business tycoon MVP is the driving force of the Blue Eagles. Having him as a backer is enough for any touted prospect to consider jumping to Katipunan. But to make a recruit feel really wanted, Ateneo should give him his own reality show on the MVP-owned TV5. He’ll have his own crew, makeup artist, P.A., publicist, etc. Instant stardom! Maybe even a self-titled album. If ever his basketball career doesn’t pan out, at least he can always revert to showbiz (Epok Quimpo on G-Mik, remember?).  

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Ritz AzulAnd why not include a sure date with TV5 princess
Ritz Azul while they're at it, right?

Alternative: The article “THE” will be legally added to the player’s name for supposedly additional prestige (ex. The Thirdy Ravena) much like The Ateneo

NEXT: What La Salle can do to sweeten their recruitment pitch!


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