You thought you’d be cool forever. You promised that you’ll always be funny, and swore never to surrender your mad style to the tyranny of the brown leather belt and tucked-in button-downs.
Then you got a job. The years piled on. And the plan for eternal radness started to fade away with the years.
What’s happening? Nothing much, just the inescapable destiny of every man to eventually become…their father.
The telltale signs that you have reached terminal phase of tatay-hood transformation are as follows:
You’d rather stay home even on Fridays
Friday is the first day of resting and preparing for the workweek ahead.
”The music is too loud.”
You’re finally starting to believe all those rumors that maliciously claimed that loud music may be bad for the ears.
”What happened to all the good music?”
Music’s best years happened—to your incredible fortune—back when you were in college, and every new song now is just a part of a shallow, soulless trend.
That gut is growing
”No it’s not. I can exercise my way out of this any time I want.”
Five beers, and you’ll have to spend a day recovering
Chugging is for idiots.
You now lean forward when shooting a basketball
The endless days of sitting in the office have robbed you of your former Kobe-like athleticism.
You develop a new bunch of pang-tatay basketball moves
The decrease in speed and power has paved the way for a sharp rise in gulang, also called in pickup basketball as “beteran moves.”
You’re amazed by how fast kids can learn new technology
”Instagram what again?”
YOLO annoys you
”Am I the only one who isn’t on vacation, and jumping off cliffs and into the sea?”
NEXT: Videogames are baaaad
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