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Feb 19, 2014
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Getting married to a porn star sounds like the best idea ever.

Who wouldn't want to have a sex-crazed monster of a wife who would, with intense fervor, say yes whenever you ask her, "Babe, I think it's time to have our own...sex scandal."

Who wouldn't, for example, want to wake up next to someone like her:

'Good morning pohwz!'

It's a proposition akin to someone asking you if you'd like a free PS4. How can you say no?

The actor Charlie Sheen, a well-known hedonist and cocaine connosseur, definitely doesn't know the answer to that question as he's just gotten engaged to 24-year-old Brett Rossi in Hawaii last Valentine's weekend, as reported by People Magazine. The marriage, if it pushes through, will be the actor's fourth—but the first to a porn star.

From Brett Rossi's twitter page, here are a few photos of one of the most hardcore couples of the moment:


Given Sheen's lifestyle, maybe a porn star is the perfect fit for him. But as for all of us who lead relatively more sober day-to-day lives, here are eight scenarios why giving a ring to a porn star might not be the most awesome idea after all.


1) Your
barkada will inevitably nag you with the question, "How's a porn star like in bed?"—courtesy and politeness be damned

One way or another, your friends will drop everything and ask you what they've always wanted to know since you married her. And whether you spill the beans or not, they won't be able to stop themselves from NOT ever thinking about her as a performer in the sex film industry, and not as your wife.

Mess with your barkada's minds and tell them
how turned on you are when you sniff yourself!


2) The chances of your dad already having seen her naked is uncomfortably high


Whether your dad admits it or not, chances are he might have already stumbled upon pictures or videos of her on the Internet even before you got married. And unless you're already awkward around your dad, family dinners are likely to be a struggle full of uncomfortable silences.

You'll wish that both you and your wife have a full-body condom on


3) Your church-going mother, when she finds out all about her, will inevitably strip you of all mana

While tatay might secretly be proud of your stud-like ways, your conservative mother will inevitably, and completely disapprove. And even if you prove to your mom that she can be nice like that girl in Girl Next Door, she'll forever think that she's just after the family jewels and money.

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Thus, she strips you of all your inheritance. Think you can live with that, brothaman?

NEXT: And what if your future son finds out about her mom's past?


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