A wife comes home early from work only to catch her husband in bed making love to a very attractive young woman.
She cries, “You disrespectful pig! How dare you do this to me! Me, your faithful wife and mother of your children! I want a divorce right away!” The husband hurries to reply, “Hang on just a minute, love! At least let me tell you what happened.” She sobbed, “Go ahead. But those will be the last words you’ll say to me!”
So the husband goes on, “Well, I was about to drive home when this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her in. I noticed that she was very thin, not well-dressed, and quite dirty. She told me she hadn’t eaten for three days. In my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made you last night, which you didn’t eat because you were afraid you’d put on weight. I suggested a shower, threw away her old, dirty clothes, and gave her the designer jeans you’ve had for a few years, which you never wore because you say they were too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste. Then I gave her the sexy blouse my sister gave you, which you don’t wear to annoy her, and the expensive boots I bought, which you don’t wear because someone has the same pair at work.”
The husband took a deep breath and continued, “She was so grateful for my help and understanding, that as I walked her to the door, tears welled in her eyes as she asked me, “Please, do you have anything else your wife doesn’t use?”
Laurence Bernabe, by email
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