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Dec 3, 2015
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Last Tuesday, December 1, the Commission on Elections (Comelec) cancelled Senator Grace Poe's certificate of candidacy (COC) for presidency in the 2016 elections.

According to Poe's legal counsel, Atty. George Garcia, the Comelec's Second Division granted the petition filed by lawyer Estrella Elamparo, citing his client's "material misrepresentation" at the time she filed her COC for president. The 34-page resolution cited the Constitution and jurisprudence as basis for their judgment.

This is what the embattled stateswoman had to say:

Poe's political rivals obviously weren't as peeved when sought for their reaction; some played it safe (albeit still letting off a hint of patutsada) while others were unsurprisingly blunt.

We, here at FHM, aren't convinced with what the other four presidential frontrunners had to say about the verdict on Poe, so we decided to decipher each of their statements. Through our state-of-the-art, no-nonsense quote generator, the FHM Translator, we we're able to uncover what these politicos really wanted to say upon learning of this development.


JEJOMAR BINAY

The vice president initially said, "'Yung sa Senate Electoral Tribunal (SET), question of law 'yun. Itong sa Comelec, question of fact. In both cases, kahit na sinong abugado ang tanungin niyo, mahirap na mga kaso 'yun."

In a latter interview though, the opposition's standard bearer seemingly soft-pedaled: "One less candidate. 'Yun ang epekto noon. Basta nabawasan ng isang kandidato."

FHM Translator: "Goodbye NUMBER ONE candidate...at least in most pre-election surveys. Which means ako na ang nangunguna..."


MAR ROXAS

"Haven't seen the decision. Wouldn't want to comment on something I haven't read. Suffice to say I respect the law and the legal processes set forth," Roxas was quoted in a statement.

FHM Translator: "Pasensyahan na lang, ayaw mo pa kasing mag-vice na lang sa'kin eh..."


MIRIAM DEFENSOR SANTIAGO

"One who becomes a Filipino citizen even without undertaking any act on his part.... Ibig sabihin, isa sa magulang mo, ka-dugo mo, kung hindi, hindi ka natural-born Filipino," Santiago said in a recent radio interview.

"No, she's not. I'm sorry to say," were her words when asked if she considers Poe as a natural-born Filipino. "Maski ni-adopt siya, or ni-register sa Department of Social Welfare as a foster child, 'di siya natural-born."

FHM Translator: "Ang pagka-presidente parang math problem. Kung hindi mo makuha, titigan mo na lang. BOOM!"


RODRIGO DUTERTE

Even before the Comelec's recent decision, the Davao City mayor had shunned the idea of having a foreigner as president. In fact, he even credited the SET ruling as the decisive moment of his presidential bid.

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"I am running for president (sic) because I am so disappointed and sad sa ruling na 'yan. Grace can run for governor, mayor—I am willing to vacate my position, bigay ko sa kanya. Pero 'wag 'yung presidente," Duterte said during a private party, wherein he confirmed his plans for 2016. "I cannot accept an American President."

FHM Translator: "Everything's falling into place..."


(These translations are a result of hours of overthinking, sleep deprivation, and too much
Kalyeserye and On The Wings Of Love. In other words, don't take them too seriously.)

Memes via the parody Twitter account @MarengMiriam

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