Cringe at the sight of a nation so vulnerable; wonder if this has anything to do with our planet crumbling, with our environmental efforts lacking. Worry that history is being made for the worse; feel agony for those who are suffering; proceed with whatever it is you’re doing.
Believe you are extraordinary for following the routine and fighting it out; for carrying the workforce, for going beyond the tests of the tides. Arrive at the workplace and comprehend how you’re being a hero in the wrong place at the right time, probably in the wrong manner. Post such instance on Facebook anyway.
Marvel at the realization that no sum of impending disturbance will ever kill a man’s sentimental, almost ignorant frame of mind when his possessions are on the prowl; for those who have suffered and lost before will come again and face the next one head on. Most times they don’t have a choice, but sometimes they do. Drown rather than bawl, protect rather than neglect.
Feel bad for feeling good about the bad weather. Feel bad for tweeting something that will never be of relevance to the pending calamity. Feel dire that you could be doing something worthwhile with your unforeseen leave from work. Feel good for expressing your sympathies online. Feel half-fulfilled for a nominal degree of social responsibility.
Accept the fact that our government can only do so much to acknowledge a nation’s need; that people have their own welfare to tend to; that just like us, whatever it is they could have done, they probably did. Or didn't.
Undergo the inevitable feeling of entrapment; the helplessness brought by our immobility to be of assistance and timidity to cry for help. Concede that all is under heaven from here on out; that belief is the only armor we can protect ourselves with; that love and truth alone will anchor us to another day, which everyone knows will be literally sunnier than the last.
Vow to do something remotely more significant when a new breed of calamity strikes. Re-ignite the charitable vigor once brought by Ondoy. Be in awe of how spending time helping strangers you will never even meet actually feels. Reminisce with pleasure as you lay back on the passenger seat. Watch the news and tell yourself that you belong in the fraction of those who helped. Sleep at night knowing that you couldn’t have done any better.
Be of aid for a cause, not for applause. Lend a hand to express, not to impress, though it wouldn’t hurt to see even the slightest degree of reassurance. Behind every great mission are ounces and ounces of affirmation.
Consciously allow yourself to feel relief for having been aware at the very least; that the sun shiny days are coming soon; that the next downpour should not be, and could not possibly be, as bad.
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