The hot girl in campus doesn't dig you. Your ass will be jailed (then raped) if you storm an airport's gate without a boarding pass. You lied, movies! You lied!
It’s our favorite time of the year—that’s aside from Christmas and the FHM 100 Sexiest Victory Party; okay, it’s our THIRD favorite time of the year! But who’s counting, right? What’s more important is it’s now February. The love month. The okay-lang-magwaldas-para-sa-date month. The only month men are allowed to be ultra-cheesy.
But do you have any idea HOW to be cheesy? Are you and your lady constantly bickering about your lack of romance? Do you attribute your singlehood to your lack of wooing skills? Well, we’re going to solve these all for you! FHM will be dishing out daily how-to-be-a-Don-Romantiko tips the whole month of February!
We used to believe that we could learn a lot about love and relationships from movies. Some of them are really inspirational—like that oft-used story of the nerdy kid trying (and succeeding) to win the heart of the hottest girl in campus. God knows we've fantasized about stopping the love of our life from leaving the country by rushing to the airport.
While some of these silver screens swoon scenarios can give you an idea on how to profess your love for somebody, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it'll work. The hot girl in your campus might not find you attractive, and deem your "determined pursuit" of her as stalking; the airport police will jail your ass if you storm an airport's gate without a boarding pass.
So, before you end up making personal playlists like John Cusack in High Fidelity, or go sweet-talking your soon-to-be-married crush thinking she's Anne Hathaway in Bride Wars, here are the six lies movies told us about dating. It's best you don't do them in real life!
1) If You're Meant To Be, You're Meant To Be
As seen in: Serendipity
Reel Life: All you need to do is let destiny work its magic. You don't need to make an extra effort, Heck, you can even jot your number down in some random bill and she'll immediately know that it's you. Next thing you know, you're going out of town together after spending a nice talk in an ice-cream bar.
Real Life: Who here takes phone numbers written in bills seriously?
2) (Overnight) Makeovers Can Do The Trick
As seen in: A Cinderella Story, A Walk To Remember, She's All That, and almost all of Freddie Prinze Jr.'s movies
Reel Life: Who would have thought a gorgeous lady is hiding beneath those geeky glasses? And all it takes to let her out is one formal evening where she can slip into a classy dress and wear red lipstick.
Real life: Not noticing Superman and Clark Kent is the same person is one thing, but being clueless that a girl's pretty just because she wears glasses or always put her hair up is just insane.
3) Love Games Can Definitely Work
As seen in: She's All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
Reel Life: Playing love games with your partner is sure a lot of fun. The more clever the deception, the better. It's just like chess but with your hearts on the line. Don't worry about losing her though, you can just say that the game is over and you start kissing and making up.
Real life: "So you're telling me we're just playing games here?" *gun clicks
4) Love Will Eventually Find You—Whoever And Wherever You Are
As seen in: Notting Hill, Serendipity, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Reel Life: So you're just chilling at home and some hot chick suddenly walks into your apartment. Next thing you know, you're dating one of the biggest celebrities in the world. Or maybe that hotel receptionist who looks like Mila Kunis suddenly gets the hots for you. You lucky bastard.
Real Life: No matter how many hours you keep staring at that door, we bet with our lives Ellen Adarna won't show up. There's also close to zero possibility that you'll get to meet "the one" while you're vacationing and she's busy working her ass off. It's just too good to be true, brother.
5) "Oh, She's Getting Hitched? Wait, Let Me Steal Her."
As seen on: Bride Wars, My Best Friend's Girlfriend
Reel Life: So you're secretly crushing on your best friend's girl? And they're a couple of months away before tying the knot? No worries, all you need is a couple of days with her and she'll eventually learn that the one she really loves is you. Besides, your friend is an ass anyway.
Real Life: This is one thing you really shouldn't do, unless you value your life or your penis being attached to your body.
6) Love Conquers All
As seen in: All romantic movies
Reel Life: Love > Career/position/family. Anyone will sacrifice everything in the name of love. And you know it's the right thing to do.
Real Life: Yeah, right. So how are we going to pay these bills then, hon?
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