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Sep 16, 2014
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Much has been written about how Facebook, for all its convenience, can paradoxically create a sense of social emptiness, false intimacy, and miscommunication. For the purposes of the FHM Girlfriend Manual, wherein we teach you how to treat your girlfriend right, we put the spotlight on how the innocent-looking social network can become the proverbial Other Woman that ruins the relationship.

On the plus side, this virtual community makes it easier to reconnect with your bespren from Mount Takipsilim Elementary School. On the other hand, it could also be the creeping scourge that will lead you and your babygirl to an awful, suffocating end—and in the end, will act like "Uy, wala akong kinalaman diyan, brad ha."

That's what we plan to stop from happening with our guide below. Kaya, brad, ibaba mo muna 'yang beer mo, at magbasa ng maigi!


1)   Facebook Wants To Be A Shoulder To Cry On

The situation: You and your girlfriend have just gotten into a big fight. Facebook comes to your rescue and tells you: "Sige lang brad, sabihin mo lang sa akin mga problema ninyo. I'm here for you, okay? Here, post a status so that the whole world will know just how much you've been wronged."   

"Sige, kid, ilabas mo nararamdaman mo"

The solution: Instead of letting Facebook prey on your need to vent, and letting your entire network know that you've been deeply wronged (at least from your perspective), find a real friend who'll genuinely listen. Go offline, go for a drink with your pals, and go ahead and tell them that you think that being 30 minutes late on a date with her isn't late at all.

Try doing that online, and of your 1,000 friends, about 990 of them will bring out the popcorn, in hopes of seeing an online fight between you and the girlfriend erupt.


2)  
Facebook Encourages Her To Gang Up On You With Her Girl Friends

The situation: You're not the only one who regularly needs to vent out. Sometimes, she'll vent out, too. Apart from scathing status updates, Facebook, in true kunsintidor fashion, makes it easy for her to create a group where she and her girlfriends can gang up on you.

"Pinagtulungan nila ako!"

The solution: Talk to her about it, and tell her that some things are better kept between just the two of you.


3)   Facebook Constantly Wants To Third-Wheel On Your Dates

The situation: You and your girlfriend are out on a nice dinner date, and you've just ordered some fancy pasta dish, and "Oh wait, what's this? Babes! Look, ang ganda pala ng kotse ni Jimboy pag bagong carwash no? Saka tingnan mo 'tong OOTD ni Dindo, ang baduy pa rin! Ila-like ko, pero in a mocking way lang. Ha ha!"

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"Babes, sino 'tong kahalikan mo sa photo na 'to?"

The solution: Social networks are notorious for luring you into their virtual worlds just when something nice is unfolding in the real world, i.e. a date. You've probably seen entire families in a restaurant all sucked in by their gadgets. It's not a nice sight. And the same applies for you and her. So put that phone away, and don't let Facebook be a distraction.


NEXT: Facebook, the bad interpreter!


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