So there's a party you need to attend, and there's no way she'll be able to come with you on the date. By the grace of the gods, she's in a good mood. She allows you to go. You didn't need to make paawa or recite a very loooong speech to get her permission. She even told you to enjoy the night.
But let's be clear bro: Don't ENJOY enjoy. Her definition of the word is far different from the one you've read from Merriam-Webster Dictionary, or your grade school teacher's explanation, or whatever you've understood up to this point.
What she means is that you can eat all you want, have a good time with your barkada, booze in moderation and take as many snaps as you want, but be sure that you...
Rule #1: Check out your background before taking a photo.
Before clicking the shutter button, make sure your background doesn't show something too wild. Frame yourselves behind the stage, the food or people (mostly, men). Avoid photos that show "body shots" or people making out wildly. When she sees something like those, she'll wonder if you partook of such debauchery.
Rule #2: Be happy but not too happy in your photos.
Because that would seem like you're having so much more fun when she's not around. (Which, depending on the state of your relationship could be true but that's a topic for another time.) In any case, here's our suggestion for not looking too happy: Ask a friend to take a few (fake) candid photos. Pretend to look like you're busy on your phone or are just sipping your drink politely.
If you're having the time of your life when she isn't there, and you're trying to conceal such joy, then begin to question the health of your relationship.
Rule #3: Don't take a photo like this one:
It's okay to take photos with girls. But never ever allow another woman to do that "pahiga sa braso" pose unless she's your mom or a friend your GF knows very well. It may not mean anything to you, but it's completely different from her point of view. Girls are cat-like in nature. When they see another girl rubbing her face on your shoulder, it feels like their territory is being marked by another tigress. That makes the GF very, very angry.
Rule #4: Don't fall for her trick questions.
When she asks you, "Sino 'yung kasama mong babae sa nakita kong picture?", the best response would be, "Ha? Meron ba?"
That's because 99.99 percent of the time, she hasn't really seen any photo yet; she's just trying to catch you. Juuust make sure that there really aren't any incriminating photos that will surface once all the attendees of the said party have woken up from their stupor and started uploading party photos.
Rule #4.1: If you're going to make excuses, make sure it's the good kind—otherwise just come clean.
When she's browsing your gallery and sees your photo with another woman, don't say, "Tropa ko 'yan sa opisina," or "Nagpa-picture lang sa akin 'yan." Actually, ditch the excuses. If you really didn't do anything, what's there to hide? So just tell the truth. If you did do something, well, that's cheating, and that's an article for another time.
Rule #5: Don't post your photos with the other girls on Facebook.
Three things, bro:
1) She'll be jealous.
2) She'll be really, really jealous.
3) She might turn into a, erm, three-headed monster of jealousy.
It's one thing to take photos of yourself with all the other girls in the party, but it's another thing to parade all those photos on social media. Even the most secure of women will get a little bit irked with such behavior, lover boy. It's just a matter of respect, really. If you've got a girlfriend, she's gotta be the star in your life, and not just another bit actress looking to score some screen time with the leading man.
(Rule number six: Maybe just don't take photos?)
GIFS via Tumblr.com
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