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Feb 11, 2015
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Fifty Shades of Grey, the highly anticipated BDSM blowout based on the lonely-housewives-lit of the same name, premieres today, February 11, setting up the perfect prelude to a (hopefully) steamy V-day between you and the ladylove.

Females can expect tortured soul (and closeted torturer) Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) to get them moist in all the right places with whips and chains, while the men can sit back, relax, and win a walloping case of the blue balls as Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) subjects herself to all the pants-tightening bondage. And since your girlfriends/wives will be dragging you to the theater in an effort to sate their repressed sadomasochistic fetishes, it would be in your best interest to clean out the pipes before screening time.

To help you get all loosey-goosey before diving into that cesspool of Fifty Shades madness, here are 20 of the kinkiest, weirdest, and most importantly, titillating movie sex scenes ever. Remember, no prudes allowed!   


1)   WILD THINGS

The kink: Having two girls at once/girl-on-girl action

NSFW: The movie climaxes with a notorious threesome between the characters of Neve Campbell, Denise Richards, and Matt Dillon. This sassily trashy Miami thriller is a ménage of flesh, champagne, and deceit. Plus, Denise's motorboat-worthiness.


Video via cinebibs


2)   SCORPIO NIGHTS

The kink: Voyeurism

NSFW: This ’80s local classic first introduces audiences to the tense passions peeping can ingite when the protagonist discovers a crack in his floor that serves as a lens into another couple’s sex life. Soon, the peephole becomes a metaphorical portal, transporting its young buck into a strange world that allows him to confront his own reticent sexual issues.


Video via Killua Sensei


3)   KILLING ME SOFTLY

The kink: Autoerotic Asphyxiation

NSFW: The only thing this horrible movie had going for it was the fact that it featured a really naked Heather Graham humping Joseph Fiennes as he strategically strangled her with silky scarves for increased pleasure. Warning: Do not attempt to copy the acts in this scene unless you’ve got all the safety bases covered.


Video via RoseCreamy


4)   REQUIEM FOR A DREAM

The kink: Sex, drugs, and black dildos

NSFW: When Jennifer ConnelLy’s character Marion tumbles into a cocaine-addicted frenzy, she starts whoring herself out for a quick fix. The disturbing finale has her performing a lurid “ass to ass” move for some moneyed businessmen.


Video via SixRunner


5)   SCORPIO NIGHT 2

The kink: Illicit student-teacher relations

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NSFW: Although this particular scene might not be the most torrid in this skin-flick, the tension that brews between Joyce Jimenez's student and Albert Martinez’s teacher in the school bathroom as they secretly touch and kiss amidst unknowing schoolgirls is the stuff of a bad education. Don’t worry, he rips off her uniform many times in this one, enough to send both of them to the principal’s office.


Video via jing satunero


6)   TATARIN

The kink: Orgasm-inducing pagan rituals

NSFW: Seemingly possessed by some supernatural force, Rica Peralejo simultaneously sizzles and scares in a fit of wild armpit-licking, nail-scratching, and boob-grabbing.


Rica Peralejo - Tatarin by -amoresai-


7)   CRASH

The kink: Getting off on automobile accidents

NSFW: If twisted metal makes you blow your wad, then director David Cronenberg’s controversial film about car crash fetishists should get your horn honking. Ready yourself for the freakily bizarre sex scene where James Spader makes sweet love to a vagina-shaped gash on Rosanna Arquette’s leg.


8)   NYMPHOMANIAC

The kink: Playing master and sex slave

NSFW: In the ultimate act of letting go of her inhibitions, the movie’s titular nymphomaniac subjects herself to some brutal lashing courtesy of a young sexual sadist. Taut and unapologetic, it’s a sequence that shows how sex is almost always about power.


Video via Soy Sado


9)   UNFAITHFUL

The kink: Exhibitionism in the form of masturbation

NSFW: Diane Lane has multiple steamy scenes in this psychosexual thriller. However, the most teasing of them all is the one where she coyly plays with herself in front of her clandestine lover.


Video via Uran Piraj


10)   BRIDE OF CHUCKIE

The kink: Murderous doll sex

NSFW: True horror abounds in this campy installment of the Child’s Play franchise when Chuckie asks soulmate Tiffany to be his bride. The honeymoon from hell quickly follows.


Video via writebear


11)   BLUE VELVET

The kink: Violent Freudian tendencies

NSFW: Dennis Hopper and Isabella Rossellini take a disconcerting turn as deranged lovers with questionable role-playing practices in director David Lynch’s tale of suburban terror.


Video via hotblogger


12)   EYES WIDE SHUT

The kink: Occult orgies

NSFW: Many claim that this is the movie that killed director Stanley Kubrick (and Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s marriage). Our theory: There's only so many pairs of boobies that one man can handle all at once before it becomes too much.


Video via Looking 506


13)   SPLICE

The kink: Inter-species incest

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NSFW: A scientist couple plays God when they splice the genes of animals with that of a human, spawning an intelligent yet animalistic hybrid creature. What’s so ungodly about that? The male doctor eventually copulates with his creation.

Click here for the NSFW image!


14)   A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE

The kink: Cheerleaders with amazing pompoms

NSFW: Maria Bello teleports back to high school when she gives Viggo Mortensen a taste of what it’s like to be part of the popular crowd. Ra-ra-ra is right!  


Video via FB Paul


15)   SECRETARY

The kink: Who’s your boss?

NSFW: As the titular masochistic office worker, Maggie Gyllenhaal is literally NSFW. She gets the boss of her fantasies in the dominating James Spader, a man who enjoys overtime in the form of brutal spankings.


Video via MOVIECLIPS


16)   SHOWGIRLS

The kink: Poolside lovin’

NSFW: The secret ingredients to a sex scene so bad it’s good: some swimming, tacky dolphin fountains, and a whole lot of exaggerated gyrating, splashing, and moaning. Jump to the 1:25:00 mark on the link below to see what epileptic water fucking looks like.


Video via Thomas Timothy

17)   SHOOT 'EM UP

The kink: Licensed to thrill

NSFW: This kill-fest has all the elements a man looks for in a killer action movie: endless gunfire, a smokin’ hot babe (THE Monica Bellucci), and high-octane sexual intercourse.


Video via Bigboss


18)   DEAD ALIVE

The kink: Necrophilia

NSFW: It isn’t really that necro, considering both individuals involved are dead. The zom-boning that occurs in this horror-comedy is a grossly hilarious affair that would make anyone with a heartbeat puke their guts out.


Video via Sand&Cotton


19)   DEMOLITION MAN

The kink: Cyber sex

NSFW: Well, this is sort of PG. We would’ve rather seen Sandra Bullock nekkid! Where’s the spit swapping? The sensual caresses? The hair pulling and the body bumping? We hope that sex never ever devolves into this sophisticated excuse for intimacy.


Video via lurgen86


20)   HOWARD THE DUCK

The kink: Bestiality

NSFW: Aside from providing audiences with a sneak peek at actress Lea Thompson’s bod in skimpy lingerie, let’s just say this scene epitomizes what it means to have raw animal magnetism.


Video via jerry Ross

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