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Feb 13, 2015
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Budget. It’s something you can’t ignore when you’re about to go out on a date, especially during the mother of all cheesy holidays, Valentine’s Day. I know it sounds silly, but if you wanna score sooner than later, you gotta play along and be half John Lloyd (romantic) and half yours truly (kuripot).

Here’s the thing: No matter how your date says she’s an independent, self-sufficient woman, she probably still wants you to pay for dinner. That’s why smart, pogi guys like us must always have a backup plan—I call it the Kuripot Diskarte. And no, it doesn’t mean you should make a beeline for the nearest fast food chain or, worse, the food court. Please lang.

Just because you’re cheap doesn’t mean you have to look the part. When you’re on the most important date of the year, tantanan mo naman ang Value Meals.


THE KURIPOT'S “ANTI-BANKRUPT" DISKARTE

They say fate favors the prepared. I say preparation favors the kuripot. Follow these examples of the Kuripot Diskarte and I assure you that you will survive V-Day.

1)   The half-chicken experience

Skip the fried chicken—it’s overrated and everybody’s done it. Instead, bring her a half lechon manok at the nearest outlet of Andok’s or Baliwag Chicken—I’m sure there’s at least one outlet where she lives.

After all, you don’t have to head out to celebrate Valentine’s. While everyone is stuck in traffic, choose to be stuck at home with her instead, watching DVDs and sharing roast chicken. Extra pogi points: Save her the drumstick and for goodness sake, don’t eat like a patay-gutom.

And remember to bring a good batch of rom-com DVDs, like this classic here:


2)   Bring her
baon

You know what’s almost as sweet as visiting your special someone’s office on Valentine’s Day to bring her expensive flowers? Visiting your special someone’s office on Valentine Day to bring her lunch.

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but guess what? The rule often applies to girls, too! Instead of the usual chocolates, though, bring her something less gag-worthy, such as a hearty meal during lunchtime. You won’t go broke if you look for a cheap but delicious turo-turo near her workplace. Oh, and you’ll look even cuter if you “package” all that food in your favorite lunchbox.

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Image via Wikipedia

You can also go for a fancy bento box like the one above or you can just go for your own imbento box!


3)   3-in-1 coffee plus macar0n

Here’s some advice you’ll really thank me for later: You can make do with cheap coffee–three-in-one, even—as long as you pair it with fancy pastries.

The thing about pastries is that they cost so much cheaper than designer coffee. For instance, one macaron costs about P30. Choose a fancy macaron in a poser flavor (I suggest "salted caramel") and pair it with three-in-one coffee served in a mug. Tell her how you bought her a macaron because it has fewer calories than mamon or ensaymada and you’re golden—and yes, you won’t be going home broke.

Those pretty macarons have the same effect on girls the same way that dogs react to Cesar Millan. They'll love it, and you won't spend too much. Talk about value for money!

And just so we're clear, macarons ha, not macaroons! There's a difference!


Video via Jennie Tai


4)   Potluck party

Spending Valentine’s in some stuffy, expensive restaurant is overrated. When you’re broke, planning a staycation-slash-date is your best bet.

Tell her you’re dining in the best place in the city: her place. Bring her top three favorite ulam—but make sure to have researched them beforehand. Sure, they might not have been cooked by some snooty five-star hotel chef; they're cooked by someone even better: you. (Naks!) Then, ask her to prepare a viand as well and tell her it’s a team effort.

If she really loves you, she'll appreciate this bonding experience more than she'll like an expensive dinner date. Well, almost. Act like a gentleman even though you’re not and soon enough, you’ll score a goal.

You can also bust out the Gosling Stare for added oomph:


5)   The double celebration

The Chinese New Year is always celebrated before or after Valentine’s; unfortunately, celebrating two occasions in under a month might break the bank. I know you’re used to going for broke, but for a change, don’t. Instead, celebrate Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day at the same time.

Here’s how you pull it off: Don’t tell her that’s what you’re doing. Instead, idaan mo sa paramdam. For instance, bring her heart-shaped tikoy. Two birds with one stone. You’re welcome.

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You do it right, and that heart-shaped tikoy could turn into heart-shaped staring.


6)   Flower power

If you insist on buying her flowers, do so the day after Valentine’s—we all know they’re cheaper on the 15th. Better yet, make friends with a crush ng bayan who isn’t your type and offer to arbor some of the gazillion bouquets she receives on Valentine’s. (She won’t mind; I’m sure her place already looks like a flower shop.)


Just make sure to use the Kuripot Diskarte wisely; moderation is key. Sometimes it's smarter to spend big now than spend the entire year trying to make up to her and her constant barrage of "Eh bakit mo tinipid nung Valentine's?!"

The bottom line is you have to make her feel this:

(But if you really want to spend, click here for FHM's V-Day gift guides, recommended restos, and what-have you!)


About the author: Stanley Chi penned the books Suplado Tips, Pogi Points, and the National Bookstore bestseller Men Are From QC, Women Are From Alabang. His most recent book, Chicken Mami for the Sawi, is now available in bookstores nationwide. Stanley is also a comedian, host, and brand ambassador. Follow him on Instagram (@supladotips), Twitter (@stanleychi), or subscribe to his blog!

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