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Sep 28, 2013
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You go to a hot new bar and get to know one really hot chick. You flirt a bit, exchange numbers, and she ends up wanting to party the rest of the night with you…at your suking motel.

In the morning, the sound of your phone alarm wakes you. You look around and find yourself back in your room. No surprise there: Panaginip lang pala.

I know that watching James Bond gives you the false hope that you just might live his life one day, but let’s not get too carried away. Not everyone can pull off the steely gaze of Daniel Craig that transforms girls into willing sex slaves. And even if you could, admit it: You’re still no James Bond.

                                                            Repeat after me: "Suplado ako, hindi si James Bond" 

Let’s get back to reality. Here’s what happens in real life:

You go to a hot new bar and get to know one really hot chick. She’s friendly, but she’s not interested in you. You try to flirt, give her your number (because she says she hasn’t memorized her number yet–but you know it’s just a lame alibi), and she ends up wanting to party the rest of the night…with some hot guy with pandesal abs and an elite condo unit in Ayala.

I sympathize with you, honestly. Ayoko maging kaong ang semilya mo. That’s why I’m going to teach you how to tell if a girl is willing to go all the way.

Here's rule no. 1: Pay attention. You don’t learn this stuff in school (unless you went to Porn Academy). Handa na, mga kapwa suplado?


Stage 1: Window-shopping for new acquaintances

If you find yourself surrounded by girls and you don’t know whom to make damoves on, here are a few things that might help you out.

    1.      Look for girls who don’t mind drinking booze with you. Alcohol is a social lubricant; girls know that they lose their inhibitions when they get intoxicated. If a girl you don’t know doesn’t mind getting disinhibited with you by her side, it just might be a sign.

Tip: While she’s tipsy, ask, “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?” If she laughs, at least she thinks it’s a joke. If she squeezes your arm and giggles, take the hint–and for the love of God, buy her more cocktails. If she frowns, bust out your smartphone secretly, and Google these terms: "best pick-up lines for chicks." 

    2.      A girl who checks you out from head to toe is a good candidate. She doesn’t know you yet, but she’s openly scoping you out. Kapalan mo na ang mukha mo; lapitan mo na. 

Tip: If you find yourself struggling, just ask yourself, “What would Stanley do?”

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                                                                     Siyempre, ayaw muna kunwari!

    3.      She’s showing skin–a lot of it. She’s wearing spaghetti straps with a plunging neckline–oh, and her top is backless. She’s looking for a good time. Approach her with a smile and ask her, “Bakit hindi mo kasama ang boyfriend mo?”

Tip: If she’s dressed like she’s ready to party, just make sure babae talaga siya. But if you like lady boys, I won’t judge you. Kanya-kanyang trip yan. Balita ko, sa Bangkok marami nun

With the initial feeling-out process of Stage 1, we now move on to Stages 2 and 3. Click on the next page. But first, my suplado pose for the day:

                                        Guys, ganito mang-seduce ng babae...kung gusto mong mapa-pulis

NEXT: Making your friends work 


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