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Nov 4, 2015
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Being nice and friendly with the opposite sex is alright, there's really nothing wrong with it. But there will be instances in which you have to draw the line, and step on the brakes on putting up your Mr. Congeniality facade.

Because, sometimes, nice guys do finish last. Or in this case, gets his girl last—or worse, never.

 

 

It’s a good thing that FHM Wingwoman, Divine Maitland-Smith, is here to share her knowledge, and guide you out of the dreaded quagmire known as the friendzone.


1)   TO BE CLEAR, THIS ISN’T ABOUT BEING ANTI-NICE GUY

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It’s anti-being friendzoned. Nice guys are cool, and for me any ideal relationship starts out with friendship. It’s easier to transition from being friends to being more-than-friends from there. Being "friendzoned," on the other hand, is different. You can be "nice" and women can confuse that "niceness" for friendship that won’t see the light of romance or naughtiness in your cards. Women and dating are complicated, I know. So let’s get to "un-complicating" things…

2)   DON’T "FRIEND" YOUR FRIENDS’ FRIENDS

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Complicated, I know. But I always say, date girls outside of your close circle of friends. This way close friends and both parties’ mutual friends can’t get involved or affected in any way. This means less drama in the long run if things don’t work out. If it does, though…well, good on you both.


3)   QUALITIES THAT KEEP YOU IN THE FRIENDZONE

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Lack of both physical touch and childish flirting

Touching her hair or shoulders (appropriately) is like sending out an advance party. It cues her that you’re on to something else.

No sexual attraction

This is a hard one. I would suggest you gym up and be physically fit. You’re doing this for yourself. You have to be confident in your own attractiveness. If you are then someone else will think the same.

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Not going for it

A girl can only think of you "as a friend" if you stay in her comfort zone. Don’t be scared to move past it. And if  you really like her, don’t be scared to ask her out. Do it.

Being forward without taking cues

On the other hand, don’t be too forward. Making her feel awkward and uncomfortable won’t be good for you both.
Wait until you start feeling the right vibes—a smile, a laugh, a date proposal cleverly wrapped in a joke—before you go out swinging.

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4)   STRIKE THE BALANCE

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You can be: 1. A perfect gentleman she can potentially flirt with; 2. Someone too nice and "just a friend;" 3. The guy who mixes it up and catches her attention.

Opens doors, pulls out chairs, offers to foot the bill - Old school and simple, but  necessary to score you brownie points.

Listens and is easy to talk with - A gentleman will rarely brag about himself, make good conversation; listen, get personal. Be a little silly; laughing puts people at ease.

GIF via Giphy.com

Makes an effort - Basic grooming and hygiene apply. Also, there are always plus points if you know how to dress yourself. What I mean by this is, know what you like and know how to wear it to fit your body type.

Stays cool - If you had a terrible day or had a rough time heading to your date, don’t  bother passing on the bad vibes to her with all the details. Talk light.

Sends out zero feelers - Flirting doesn’t make you a bad guy. Acting on your physical urges will make you (and her) feel more confident and curious to see what can possibly come next.

Too persistent - Sometimes being persistent is considered a "good guy" quality because long pursuits are taken
to mean loyalty. But nobody wants to be pressured to do something they don’t want

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