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May 8, 2014
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On Sunday, your mother, your mother's mother, and your friend's mother's mother have just the right bala under her belt to prevent you from going out with your barkada: Mother's Day. Dun-dun-dun.

It's that wonderful time of the year when a fun Saturday night is rudely interrupted by one friend's seemingly harmless question: "Pre, ano regalo mo sa nanay mo bukas?" Dun-dun-dun, indeed. 

What exactly should you get mommy dearest? Well, we're as clueless as you are! What we do know however is that there are gifts out there that do more bad than good. While an entire year's supply of toilet cleaner might seem like an astounding show of practicality and vision on your end, the message you're really sending is, "Thanks for keeping our house neat all year, mom! Now, here's to another year of keeping it clean!"

Ten other you-should-never-give-to-mom items are waiting for your ungrateful ass below!

1) A bright, new apron

There's no need to remind your mom that you see her as some sort of automated food dispensing device.

However, if you can't avoid the urge, please just don't get this one:

Get this one instead:  

2) That fancy set of knives you saw on Home TV Shopping

It doesn't matter if it can cut stone, melt metal, or deflect solar beams, a fancy knife is still a knifea tool that reminds The Motherly One of scraped-off fish scales and potato peels.  

The ads will be persuasive, but if you don't want your mom to projectile vomit your way, resist the urge to buy:

"It's more than amazing! It's a Ginsu! It can destroy
the most challenging chicken! But wait, there's more!"

3) A "Best Mom Ever" paperweight

Gusto mong mabato, brad?

4) Dumbbells

She gets it: She's not in her slim 20s form anymore. And soon enough, you'll get it tooa multi-kilo pair of dumbbells flying towards your face's general direction, that is.

5) A brand new daster collection

All those colors, "sale!" markings, and trippy patterns make their case, but resist you must. Every time you buy her a daster, you rudely remind her of (gasp!) impending lola-hood. Trouble!

NEXT: How about tickets to a rave festival? We say don't!