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Nov 30, 2017
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If you have made it this far in life without government-issued identification, then you posses an amount of complacency so stunning it deserves applause. What are you even doing in this world without a bank account?

Unless you plan on going off the grid to live off of plants and personally hunted meat a la Into The Wild, you’re going to need a photo ID to justify your existence. You can’t just change your name to Alexander Supertramp and expect that everyone will just nod their heads in compliance.

Despite all that rage, he really was just Chris McCandless in his Wikipedia page.

Unfortunately, they don’t teach these things in school. Nope, not even in the top universities. If you follow enough millennials on social media, you’ll notice that the people who whine the most about falling in line in public places are the ones whose parents or drivers did it for them. Here’s some ice for that sick burn.

Getting yourself valid photo IDs issued by our loving government is really not that difficult. There are things in life that are truly harder, like, you know, not having enough valid IDs to apply for a primary credit card. Or sitting there just watching the world burn because your lack of a voter ID means you stayed home on election day (shame on you!). There are many things in the world you can change if only you were humble enough to wait in line!

Forget a driver’s license. You need real skill for that (duh, driving). The following IDs can be acquired with very little effort and physically appearing before some government personnel a few times. Get on it!

1) Postal ID

One could argue that Postal IDs exist solely to start this quest of proving you exist in the Philippines. Their only real purpose is to arm you with something valid so you can go ahead and apply for even more valid IDs. It’s your starter knife; the first useful tool in your inventory before you can say you’re ready for bigger things. You simply need a birth certificate, proof of address, a filled application form, and a visit to your local post office.

2) SSS ID

Not having a social security number is like walking naked in public, provided you don’t enjoy such amounts of exposure. In any case, don’t settle for this. Sign yourself up to be a member of our upward-moving society and pay your contributions so that when you’re 60, you don’t look back and say, “why did I not?” Application can be done online, and you can submit the rest of your requirements at your nearest SSS branch.

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3) Passport

We need records of our travels so that someday when a murder is pinned on us, we can provide the court with some hard evidence that we didn’t do it. We can’t stress the importance of passports any more than we already have and the good news is it’s stupid easy to secure one. Just set an appointment with the DFA at one of their satellite offices (less people), gather some documents, spare a few hours, and do your sexiest stone face at the photobooth. You’ll receive your passport in the mail witihin 2 weeks.

4) NBI Clearance

Before online applications, graduates thirsty for a job had to brave the NBI office on UN Avenue to procure their NBI clearances. Lining up with people whose essential purpose is to prove they don’t have a criminal record is not anyone’s idea of a good time. The internet has only ever been useful since the launch of clearanceph.com. Set an appointment and walk into one of their 63 offices around the country.

5) Voter’s ID

You know what they say: You can’t complain about the government if you didn’t exercise your right to vote. Whether it’s barangay or national elections, it’s your duty to register and vote. Registration offices are situated in local barangay offices and even malls. They only need duly accomplished forms that you can fill out online or on site, and then your biometric data. If OFW’s are able to do it while out of the country, there’s certainly no excuse for little, local you.

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