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Jan 28, 2013
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Your charms haven't worked, neither does that expensive plaid long-sleeved polo.

Although some of them say they like you, you found out that it doesn't necessarily mean that they're into you.

She suddenly has gotten tired of you, which leads to her writing “bore” on your forehead.

Sounds familiar, gents? It should be, since we're talking about an age old man problem: How to attract women and then not get them to leave us. As always, we provide you with new insights to help you solve this quandary. With help from our trusted friends from the medical field and a couple of FHM babes, we've come up with a new, quicker route to a woman's heart—and it's through her senses. Read on!

                                                                               'Mag- Svenson na kaya ako?'
EYES
What she wants to see
SCIENCE SAYS: Apparently, she doesn’t care how you look. “We judge first with our eyes. It’s normal,” says Louie Ignacio, Sociology professor at the Colegio de San Juan de Letran. “But when it comes to coupling or finding a mate, women appear to exercise it less. Meaning men can be [ugly] and have just as much chance getting the women featured in your magazine as the man who in Pinoy standards looks handsome: lighter skinned, matangos ang ilong, tall.” A study on colors and perceptions published on The Journal of Experimental Psychology in August last year says that red worn by a man turns women on just as much as women in red turn men on. It purportedly conveys rank, money, power—all equaling male attractiveness.

INSTINCT SAYS: Wear red at all costs. Primp self only where looking “clean” factors in. (See: “She says”). Other times, rely on God-given personality, humor, and on FHM’s monthly Lounge section for unleashing-your-inner-sex-god self-helps.

SHE SAYS: Keep track of your face. Scrub when you think she’s visually sizing you up. “It’s really his face that I look at, kasi iyon naman yung una mong nakikita,” FHM babe Chiaki Morita says. “Face then it’s their nails, kasi that’s the first sign of hygiene. I’m sorry pero kung hindi malinis iyon, what does that say about his other parts?”

QUICK TIP: CLEAN YOUR NAILS THE MODIFIED MANICURISTA WAY
1. Use the protruding end of a nail file to rid the underside of your nail with dirt. If without nail file, use a cottonwrapped toothpick instead.
2. Soak finger and toenails in warm water with rock salt.
3. Scrub each nail with a new, preferably cheap kid’s toothbrush. Use any kind of soap. Scrub with focus and determination. Rinse. Wipe clean.

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                                       'Kaboses ko lang si Lady Gaga! Hindi ko siya idol. Duh'

EARS
What she wants to hear
SCIENCE SAYS: No to noise. “Both sexes are culturally programmed to be opposed to loud and shrill noise. It takes you out of your comfort zone.” Adds Ignacio: “Notice that you respond differently when under stress, that’s one interpretation, but on a wholly different scale. Bottom line is, the more comfortable she is, the more receptive she will be to your advances.”

INSTINCT SAYS: Keep from shrieking like a girl. Or shrieking to begin with. If aiming for suave romantiko, make her laugh. Flatter unyieldingly.

SHE SAYS: “I would be flattered if he notices my assets…it’s enough that he gives me a look when I’m wearing something nice, or medyo mas maikli yung skirt ko. I don’t need to hear the actual compliment. The look is compliment enough,” advises Karina, 29, web programmer, “But if he’s talking with his barkada about how big my boobs are, or my legs, siguro ayaw ko marinig, it’s like a guy thing na nakakababa ng pagkatao. I’d rather he tell me personally, to flatter me.”

QUICK TRIVIA: The short guide to everyday decibels
A whisper: Around 30 db
Normal conversation: 40-60 db
Busy street: 80 db
Rock concerts: 110-130 db
Gun shot: 140 db

Recommended db your ears should hear
For a continuous hour: 94 db
For 30 minutes: 97 db
15 minutes: 100 db
30 seconds: 116 db
5 seconds: 121 db
less than a second: 130-140 db

NEXT: Why just sticking your tongue out is never ever going to turn her on


WORDS: KHYNE PALUMAR
FROM FHM'S FEBRUARY 2012 ISSUE
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