It’s August. Why am I reading about a beach bod in the rainy season?
Well, many presumed summer was over when July arrived with bouts of torrential rain, but now August is turning out to be a pretty warm month (because global warming ain’t a trend), but with two long weekends this month, its not like we mind, right?
To any hard-working taxpayer, a long weekend is something that should be cherished and enjoyed to the fullest, and spent far away from the workplace.
That said, its also the last month till the –ber months arrive, meaning you’ve probably been thinking about the many long weekends in store for the next four months.
That's a lot of debauchery waiting to happen, innit?
How many of your resolutions from 8 months’ past (or 4 months’ time) do you think will be unresolved at year’s end?
Did you get that beach bod in time for summer?
Save yourself the grief, because if you’re here reading this, it’s probably because the answer is either NO (or you’re curious about the big reveal).
When you’re young, wild, and free (of debt and responsibility), it’s easy to flush this year’s resolutions down the toilet, knowing that the next year is another blank slate waiting to be filled with flimsy promises. But what happens when your available years start to dwindle?
Sure, age is just a number. But that number reveals a few truths, and the higher the number, the more uncomfortable the truths feel as they plague your brain.
In college or somewhere around early to mid-20s? It may feel like a slap on the wrist. Pushing 30, or 40? It’s the warmth that lingers after receiving a hard slap on the cheek. Over 40? It’s your creaky joints when you tackle a flight of stairs, or lift your luggage off an airport conveyor belt.
What’s this got to do with being perennially beach ready? Everything.
We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again: you don't need chiseled abs to live in the real world.
Vanity is an important precursor to self-improvement, but it won’t be enough to sustain you. However, its not bad to be vain: a trim waist (in proportion to your height and frame) puts you at lesser risk of death. Simply put, lots of belt-covering flabbage (no matter your BMI) does more than lower your self-esteem, it also puts you at higher risk of death.
Just think about it: how many beaches can you go to when you’re dead?
Scientists call it the “waist-to-hip” ratio, and recent studies suggest that it's a more accurate indicator of health than the overused BMI (body mass index).
Why? Losing your beer belly is not a job you ascribe solely to your personal trainer, in fact, its something only you can do for yourself.
So if losing the salbabida will keep you beach ready no matter the weather,
what can you do to make it happen?
Feed your body
Whether it's food, water, or sleep, don’t ever starve yourself.
And if you do decide to go paleo, plant-based, vegetarian, ketogenic, low-glycemic index, make sure to pick the one that feels sustainable in the long-term.
What about intermittent fasting, you ask.
There are books, apps, and numerous proponents of intermittent fasting (i.e. most religious groups) who swear by it as a great tool to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
At the end of the day, you need to feed your body because it needs nourishment, not because you’re stressed/happy/angry/sad, or not because you’re not used to not having meat/rice.
Not so super, Superman.
Or craving gummy penises.
Show your gut who’s boss!
Get off the couch, and do what you were built to do
Before you spout a cop-out like “Ang tunay na lalaki, walang abs” (or if you’re too conyo to understand Tagalog, it’s “Real men don’t have abs”), again, we’re not here to tell you to grow a six-pack.
We’re here to tell you that if you want to stick around long enough to be able to do all the things you dream of doing (like going to the beach when you want to), you won’t get to do them by sitting on your ass.
What’s next? A grave?
Pick an upright activity that you can sustain and do it for something other than looking good. (Sex don’t count, unless you’re Ron Jeremy.) And if you get tired of it, try something you’ve never done before.
You don’t need to be a triathlete to live a healthy life. Just put one foot in front of the other, and repeat at least 10,000x (feel free to change direction before you hit any solid object). Walk your dog, play with your children, dance to EDM with your crew in Valkyrie, or if that’s too millennial for you, take the stairs every now and then.
The older we get, the more we need to try new things to keep our minds healthy.
Which leads us to the final caveat…
When we said feed your body, we meant your brain, too. Since it has such a big workload, your brain cells need exercise too.
Daily life is stressful on the brain as it is. But the good thing is that the brain learns to deal with stressful situations quickly, as long as you get enough rest.
If there are substances that are toxic for your body, then there are environments and thoughts that can prove toxic to your psyche.
Because no one wants to be caught on the company CCTV losing their cool
...and being used as a GIF.
Doing everything in moderation, while adding a healthy amount of variety over a long period of time is a big challenge, because routine is the biggest hole that some people struggle to get out off for most of their lives.
Prepping for your so-called “beach bod” today will be the biggest favor you can do your 60-year-old self. Make sure you don’t celebrate your retirement in a newly dug grave, just because you were too stubborn to lose the bulge.
Now you know what to show and tell your barber
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Uncle Drew is down
Prepare yourself for some extra cheese (and their Manila concert)