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Oct 7, 2014
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Ah, masturbation. It's pleasurable, it's messy, and both bros and gals do it. For many of us, it's also the closest thing to getting laid.

So, here's a question: How do you do it? Or, more specifically, what are the tools you use to, well, get off?

We expect stuff like lubes, lotions, and tissue paper will be on the top of your pototoy-approved list. What we're about to show you though is something utterly different, and we bet none of you have seen anything like it. Fellas, we introduce you to The Handie!

the handie

It looks so different that it's almost scary to put The D in it. But, after reading what it can do, we think many of you will at least consider doing your business with it. Read on...you know you want to!

But first, another "Whoa!"-inducing look:

the handie

Is it just us or doesn't it eerily resemble Marvel's Infinity Gauntlet:

the handieImage via Comicvine.com

Okay, maybe just a little bit.

Kidding aside, it has "powers" that will help you masturbate better. As a summary, The Handie is a glove-shaped sex toy designed to make things easier and less messy for your penis. Going into the details, the device claims to have "perfect grip action," which is clearly important for your fapping sessions. It's also has a self-lubricating feature. Apparently, there's a slot on the back where you can place a water-based lubricant, eliminating the need for grabbing that lotion from your mom's/sister's/gay friend's closet.

We know we have your attention now (aminin!), so prepare for more kinky thoughts! The Handie (clever name, BTW) also has a small pocket located at the pinkie where you can place a small vibrator, no kidding!

But perhaps the best part is that it claims to be self-cleaning. Lo and behold, a small cup will catch your man juice for easy disposal (and less of those god-awful stains on your couch/bed/trousers)! We're also told that the whole device itself can be cleaned with simple soap-and-water action. Puweds!

Video via TheHandieUtility on YouTube

So, how about it? Does The Handie seem like a wonder pleasure tool for you? If you said yes then, good news: You can help make it a marketplace reality! According to its Indiegogo page, The Handie is an on-going project and its maker, TheHandie.com, is asking for pledges from interested parties to help fund its mass production.


Click here to donate and lend a hand for The Handie (pun shamelessly intended)!