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'How Can I Give My Girl Intense Orgasms?'

Here's a quick (and dirty) guide
by Dr. FHM | Sep 21, 2018
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Ask FHM is a corner of the internet where we fan the flames of your burning questions. Here, we dish out some tough love and an honest take on whatever potentially life-changing situation you find yourself in (while silently thanking God we aren’t you right now). Ask us anything. Except for money, and if open-minded ba kami. 

Dear FHM,

I don’t consider myself an ace in the bedroom. I think I do okay, but I want to give my girl the best orgasms she’s ever had—except I don’t really know where to start. Help!

Any decent lover knows that making sure your woman reaches orgasm is pretty much the whole point—or at least one of the highlights of the exercise.

It’s why there are over 140 million hits when you Google “How to make women orgasm.” Every guy (and girl) is just as clueless as the next one—and we’re all just floundering around, trying to figure it all out. So now we’re about to add one more hit and muddy up the good old internet with yet another quick and dirty guide to the female orgasm.

The fun (and maddening) part about it all is there isn’t one surefire way to help her reach that Big O. You’ve heard it a million times before—it isn’t purely physical with the ladies. It’s a delicate and potent cocktail of emotional connection, physical skill, and a conducive environment (read: She’s got to be into it, you got to know what you’re doing, and it’s probably not gonna happen in the back of your stanky-ass car).

Conventional wisdom (meaning, stuff we cribbed from the other 140 million hits we Googled so you don’t have to) assures there are some winning, good-place-to-start strategies, though.

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Use your mouth.

In more ways than one. A staggering amount of women don’t (or can’t) orgasm from penetration—and it isn’t your fault, you fragile little flower. Some say your penis just doesn’t hit the spot the same way your tongue can, or it’s a matter of applying the right (and delicate) pressure. Bottom line is, your dick isn’t the only tool in your arsenal. You have plenty of other faculties you should maximize. Sticking it in doesn’t have to be the main event. Go down on her, and be prepared to stay there a while.

And another way to use your mouth? Use your gift of gab. A little sexy pillow talk will get her in the mood more than your hidden folder of porn clips ever can. Remember that emotional connection we keep drilling into your head? You don’t have to say you love her (and for God’s sake, don’t say anything you don’t mean), just stick to compliments or a little role-playing or dirty talk (if she’s into that).

Get a little female perspective.

Contrary to what our patriarchal world has conditioned you to believe, the female orgasm is a woman’s business. Ever hear that drivel about “An orgasm is something a woman gives herself?” It sounds hokey, but its true—when you take into consideration the crazy circumstances women have to be in to attain one (back again to that emotional stuff).

So at the end of the day, a girl’s gonna know best. We’re not kidding—we’re not ashamed to flick through our lady’s Cosmo once in a while in the name of “research.” They know what they’re talking about (and pretty much idiot-proof it). Even better, just ask your girlfriend. This may come as a shock to you, but even the most dalagang Pilipina of women have tried figuring their own unique anatomies and quirks on their own (and if they haven’t, man, they should).

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They’ve spent enough time masturbating or have accumulated enough sexual history to know what works or what doesn’t. Don’t discount all that experience by just believing you got a magic dick that can make any—or every, you dreamer—woman cum in five seconds flat.

Do another Google search.

You know what’s the top predictive search when you type “how to make women…?” Happy. Yep, coming in hot at over a billion views is “how to make women happy.” That sure puts orgasms into perspective. We think the entirety of the internet is trying to tell you something: it shouldn’t (only) be about the orgasm—it’s about making your woman feel like the happiest and luckiest girl in the world.

Imagine this: You’re this decent, reliable guy who does more than the bare minimum on all fronts—not just in the sack. You’re invested, you’re respectful, you genuinely want the best for her. You’re her own personal Unproblematic, Sensitive Dude From That Viral Netflix Rom-Com. There’s a reason why those dudes are so hot right now, and they’re pretty much your new blueprint on how to be a man.

Now imagine how happy and content she is being with you—you don’t give her shit, you make her feel empowered, you make her feel sexy in more ways than the obvious. If that doesn’t make her want to rip your clothes off on the daily, we don’t know what will. (Actually, we do: Think about the longest amount of foreplay you can physically manage, then double it. There—problem solved!)

Illustration Borg Sinaban

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