I've never been to a gentlemen's bar before, believe it or not. I never really understood why someone would pay ridiculous amounts of money just to have a good time out when these days, all you need to do is go on Tinder or some other dating app to be able to hook up. But hey, I'm not one to diss something till I try it myself. I wanted to hit a diverse selection of gimikans, so I asked a more experienced gimikero to point me in the right direction.
Luckily for me, he went beyond the code of brotherhood and got me some VIP treatment in a well-hidden KTV bar called Veneto Luna, in Ortigas. There was a bevy of girls to pick from their lineup, most of them could even pass for professional models. A great tip to know when going to KTV bars is to always make the managers your "beshies," or in this case your "mamshies." Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't matter if they know that you're a first timer. If you play your hand right, special treatment for beginners is totally possible. Look for Mami Gina to hook you up with some of her best girls.
There are five kinds of girls in Veneto Luna: receptionists, stage girls, performers, VIPs, and models. You can get stage girls and VIPs to stay in the VIP room with you for P2,000 each for a couple of hours. The receptionist, performers, and models aren't for VIP rooms. They usually just come up on stage to entertain guests with their numbers. The stage is usually filled by either street dancers or models; if you squint your eyes a bit, the scene would look like a lesser version of Wowowin minus the overbearing host and free jackets.
All in all, the experience was pretty solid, except for the fact that things got a bit too pricey and I ended up not having enough cash on hand. The walk of shame to the ATM wasn't as bad as I had thought until we discovered that all five ATMs at the compound were out of order. We had to take a little road trip with kuya guard trying to find the nearest ATM we could get cash from.
Lesson learned: Always bring twice as much as you expect to spend just in case you lose track of how much you guys order; in our case, we spent P10,000/head for the four hours we were there, which was barely enough to have some real fun with the girls. Another tip: Try to keep an eye on how many shots the girls order, because the drinks and food are expensive. We say load up on some cheap fastfood and even cheaper drinks before heading out.
Of course, you don't really need to shell out if you have the patience and willingness to invest your time and effort. My fellow gimikero recounted to me (in great detail) his past experiences with the girls at these bars. "You can get any girl there at no cost, you just have to charm them. Hindi naman ako gwapo pero I've never paid a girl just to have some fun. Just get her number tapos landiin mo and meet up sometime when she's not working. That's when you get to show her a real good time."
This is easier said than done for a newbie like myself, good thing there are places like Primero Room 526 at the Fort. For P2,000, you get to be classy for an hour, complete with a coat that they'll let you wear, and unlimited drinks for you (but not the girls). Every hour thereafter costs you a thousand.
The place has a fairly different system from other bars because the girls rotate every 15 minutes, much like speed dating. You get to learn essential gimikero skills like making strong first impressions, keeping a conversation interesting, and most importantly, asking a girl to meet up outside and being able to seal the deal.
‘Ah malapit lang dito, sir. Kayo po?’
‘Para hindi hassle mamaya kapag iuuwi mo na ako.’
Consider the Ladies' drinks as a separate bill. Prices reach up to P4,000 an hour if you're planning to buy each girl you meet on rotation at least one drink. Needless to say, our budget ran low fast so we decided to hit a more cost effective place next—a beer bar named, Gentlemen's Bar along Shaw Boulevard...
Illustrations Melvin Calingo
This story was originally published in the September 2017 issue of FHM Philippines. For more on this story, grab a copy of the magazine.
Minor edits were made by the FHM.com.ph editors.