You probably know one or two people who had a thing with their teacher, but whatever you’ve heard, the exact details are always hazy, and for good reason—that shit is taboo AF. With both the teacher and the student’s name on the line once word gets out, no wonder such dalliances are always spoken about in hushed whispers and with disapproving looks.
Here, four people are spilling the beans on their forbidden extracurricular flings: how it happened, how it ended, and whether or not they regret the experience today. From eventual friendship to lasting fondness to sobered wisdom to that rare happy ending, read on for the many ways such a complicated relationship could unfold.
The one who stayed friends with the teacher
“I was 13, fresh out of the innocent and juvenile playground that was elementary school and into the unpredictable world of puberty at an all-girls high school. She was 20, young, pretty, smart—new but already the talk of the town.
We initially interacted the way teachers and students should. You know, about school stuff. Then perhaps that got boring, so we started talking about ourselves. Then, boom, a kiss! That moment, we didn’t care about a thing and we just dove in.
We wanted to see each other every single minute, and we tried to be as creative and resourceful about it as possible. We’d quietly meet in parking lots or after school by the entrance gates, go out and watch a movie in theaters that barely had anyone in them. We also had sneaky moments within the school; she’d secretly bring me cookies in the classroom, and I’d leave a notebook filled with mushy and naughty words on her faculty desk.
The best, however, was the times we spent on her bed. She was probably my first in everything. The exchange of affection and attraction was inexplicable, and my 13-year-old self was never the same again.
After about a year, she had to go to the States and leave her teaching career. When she got back, she already had a baby.
Our relationship, though it may not sound right to many, is something that, to this day, I feel good about. Being a minor back then, I may have needed adult guidance before jumping into a relationship, but I feel like I had thought about it well enough, and I probably am lucky that it turned out the way it did. I can look back on it, not regret anything, and just be filled with memories that tug at my heart to this day.
We still see each other to catch up, and we remain friends.” – Sato, 33
The one who has lingering fondness for the teacher
“I was in my senior year in high school when I met her. She was in charge of the biology lab, and she was pretty, a fresh graduate and still very young. I think it was a surplus of testosterone or a fetish perhaps, but at that time, I liked women over girls.
It all started with a hi followed by a smile. Every time we had a lab activity, I always made sure to say some simple greeting. Then, when the awkwardness faded, we started to talk.
We had conversations about life, her background, and her love life. Then, in the middle of the school year, although we never brought it up verbally, we felt a gradual deepening of our relationship. When we held hands, it was then that I knew.
As time progressed, so did our relationship. I was at the lab every day during lunch break. When we had our first kiss, we were alone in the lab—at least, I thought we were. Little did I know, there were two sets of eyes watching us. Good thing they were my friends and they just teased me about it.
Although we had feelings for each other, there was no actual commitment. We would see each other outside of school, but we never had a proper date. Come graduation, we got busy with all the requirements and I was preparing for college. Eventually, we just sort of stopped talking.
What I realized was that some people just come into your life, like some cosmic coincidence at the right time, and provide you with comfort, stability, and a different perspective on relationships. In a way, I am thankful to her and for her.
I have not spoken or communicated with her since; last I heard she was married with two children. I just wish all the best for her, and if we ever meet again, I do hope she would recognize me.” –Stevie, 33
The one who was taken advantage of by the teacher
“My first boyfriend was my music teacher. I was 16 at the time, turning 17. He was 26 turning 27. We got along because he was well-read, and I felt like I could learn a lot just by talking to him. It just felt so natural to fall for him when I was a teenager because he was so worldly and I was so curious to know more about life.
He asked me out one time to catch a film festival with him, and I said yes. That was our first date. I lied to my parents about whom I was hanging out with. I don’t remember anymore if we held hands that night, but I do remember him being very touchy.
We became official in a few months, when he told me he loved me and I said I loved him, too. I meant it at the time.
Things were smooth-sailing for two weeks, until my parents found out about us and broke us off. We tried to make it go on, but things got weird on his side. He would disappear completely and leave me hanging for weeks, then he’d come back to me for a few days before going AWOL again. This went on for about a year. It was a crazy, emotionally exhausting cycle.
I ended things when I became attracted to someone else, and I haven’t spoken to him since. He tried to reach me a few times via text a few years ago, but I ignored him.
It was only when I turned 24 that I realized how wrong it was for him to hit on a minor. I thought, ‘I’m almost his age when he first met me,’ and I could never for the life of me imagine making passes at a high schooler.
Nothing really happened between us physically—and thank God for that. But since I turned 24, I’ve had this sense that I was taken advantage of because I was not a consenting adult when we got together. It hardly even matters that he might have really loved me, because the context was just wrong. Sure, I crushed on him and liked him. But he didn’t have to make a move.
I don’t regret what happened, though. I’m glad about gaining the perspective and insight I have now about youth, innocence, and maturity. It’s a hard and bitter lesson to learn, but that’s knowledge for you.” – Gabbi, 29
The one who found a happy ending with the teacher
“I was in my third year of high school when I first met her. She was a newly hired fresh grad, and we had a seven-year age gap. Since she started at school, I was vocal to the entire campus about my feelings for her, but they all thought I was just being playful.
We became close, and I would joke with her about my crush on her. When she announced that she might resign, I couldn’t explain why I felt hurt. Knowing that I wouldn’t be seeing her next school year was way more painful to me than all the combined ‘No’s’ and ‘Friends lang tayo’ from all the girls I had courted before her. I knew then that I had to do something.
I asked for her number from a schoolmate and started texting her using another name. It took her around three months to reply, but it was worth the wait. We began to text regularly and eventually became sweet.
When we finally had our ‘eyeball,’ ‘P*tang ina’ were her first words to me. But that day which started with ‘Putang ina’ ended with ‘I love you.’
When we got together, I was in my fourth year. We had to keep our relationship a secret. I was still her student, so I would strive to be a good one by reviewing for tests and passing my homework on time. Meanwhile, she would give consideration and make adjustments for her favorite student.
When I graduated, she resigned from the high school. Now she teaches at a different university, which is better for our relationship because we are already public about it.
Yes, I am still dating my teacher. We’ve been together for almost five years now. I still get assignments from her, but this time, they are these: be faithful and be respectful.” – Daniel, 20