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'She Kissed Me Once and Never Called Me Again'

A story about a naive guy who, to this day, wonders what went wrong
April 07, 2017
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So here’s the thing: I never actually expected her to agree when I asked her out. See, I was just your typical, semi-gwapo guy who liked going to the gym, playing basketball on the weekends, and drinking beer with my bros. On the other hand, she’s the crush ng bayan, the loveliest girl I’d ever seen in real life. When she said yes to my invitation to watch the latest romcom together, I couldn’t believe it! My friends couldn’t believe it! And yet, when I asked her if she was sure, she just giggled and said she was glad I called, flirting with me on the phone.

I felt like the luckiest guy in the world, that’s for sure. And I definitely knew that I had to go all out on this date—after all, how often do the dating gods shine down on schlubs like me, right?

So I made sure to book primo seats at the movie theater. I got us reservations at one of the swankiest place in town for dinner. I got my hair cut, my clothes dry-cleaned, and my shoes polished to a shine. I even had my car washed and filled it up with gas.

The big day arrived, and after checking that everything was in place, I got myself ready. I showered, shaved, slapped on some deodorant—the works. I thought I cleaned up nice, and even though I had to skip the mouthwash in my rush to head out on time (I spent way too long fixing my hair!), I was feeling pretty good about myself.

All that effort to get ready seemed worth it when I saw how gorgeous she looked. It was shaping up to be a really great date.

We didn’t really talk much while at the theater—to my pleasant surprise, she was that rare woman who didn’t talk during the movie—but we made up for it at dinner. We mostly stuck to light and easy topics, but we did venture into more intimate conversation every once in a while. Those never lasted though, since every time I leaned closer to her, she backed up. I felt like we really hit it off regardless.

All in all, it was a pretty nice night. She had this cute, little smile on her face when I walked her to her door. After she thanked me for bringing her on such a good date, I thought that it was the most natural thing in the world to press my lips to her. So I did.

It was short, sweet, and chaste—the perfect first date kiss to me. When I opened my eyes, she was wrinkling her nose. I thought she was trying to be cute and was leaning over to kiss her again when she quickly slipped away, bade me goodnight, and shut the door in my face. I was left feeling a bit confused, a bit disappointed, but shrugged it off. Some girls were just shy like that, after all.

So despite the abrupt end to our date, I was still pretty hopeful. I texted her the next day to ask her out again.

She never called me back. To this day, I’m still wondering what the hell I did wrong.

So here’s the thing: we know exactly what went wrong. The devil’s in the details, gents, and unfortunately, our boy wasn’t paying enough attention. Remember that moment he rushed out of his apartment, foregoing mouthwash (not to mention brushing) entirely? Yeah, that’s when he messed up. He spent the entire date with bad breath, and his potential lady love definitely noticed. That seemingly perfect smooch at the end of the night? Probably the final nail in the coffin of this relationship. No one likes kissing a foul-smelling mouth, after all! 

Take it from us: never skip the mouthwash. Always remember to use something like Colgate Plax Ice Infinity which will give you fresh breath and that satisfying icy-cool sensation without the burn. As long as you don’t forget this gentlemanly habit every time you brush, you can rest assured your date won’t go running for the hills when you lean in for that kiss!