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13 People Share Their Most Horrific Blowjob Experiences
Sucking sucks sometimes
by Chandra Pepino | Dec 9, 2017
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They call them blow “jobs” for a reason—oral sex can be tedious and time-consuming if either one of you isn’t totally into it. But there’s a difference between “meh” and absolutely bonkers. Read on for the craziest blowie stories we’ve ever heard.

“She puked on my lap but wanted to keep going.”

“My girlfriend and I were in my car. She attempted to deepthroat me and ended up puking all over me in the process. The worst part was she wanted to keep going. Yeah, no, I don’t think so!” — Jose, 23

“This is how I found out about my wisdom teeth...”

“I was giving this guy a blowjob in a semi-dark room. Suddenly, I noticed drops of bright red blood on his crotch. I looked up at the guy (he was lying down and couldn’t see what was going on), but he didn’t seem to be in pain. I realized the blood must have been coming from me, but I didn’t want to be remembered as ‘the girl who bled,’ so I kept going until he finished. I rushed to the bathroom, shone a light into my mouth, and realized my wisdom teeth were now visible. And impacted. And bleeding.” — Marie, 22

“We were on an EDSA bus...”

“My college boyfriend and I were insane. We would get it on anywhere we felt like it. One time, he wanted to receive a blowjob while we were on an EDSA bus. It wasn’t that crowded, so we scuffled to the back row and got busy. He had to serve as lookout while I did my thing. It’s a miracle we didn’t get caught” — Isa, 22

“The hairiest balls I have ever seen...”

“My Tinder match and I seemed to have chemistry, so I invited him back to my apartment. After kissing for a few minutes, he proceeded to take off all his clothes and fully sit on my face. He was so frickin’ hairy, it was hard to breathe. But I gave him a blowjob anyway, hoping he would return the favor. Guys, if you have the audacity to sit on our faces, you better give us something in return!” — Carla, 24

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“Teeth. So much teeth...”

“I met this girl on Tinder who seemed super promising on our first date. For our second date, she suggested we book a hotel room. When we were finally getting it on, she got on her knees to go down on me and proceeded to drag her teeth along my dick over and over. I tried to help her out at first, but she just couldn’t get the hang of it. I was sore for days after that” — Lorenzo, 21

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“It was basically a stump…”

“Look, it isn’t anyone’s fault that they have a micropenis, but when I saw his for the first time, I was clueless as to what to do with it. Flick my tongue? Just suck it? I was happy to please him anyway, but what made it awkward was his constant apologizing and explaining. He kept saying things like ‘I’m sorry it’s so small,’ and ‘I hope you’re not disappointed,’ which kind of killed the mood for me.” — Joey, 25

 “My parents walked right in…”

“My whole family was headed out one day, which meant I would have the house to myself. I decided to ask my boyfriend to come over. I had just finished giving him a blowjob, and we were cuddling blissfully when suddenly we heard knocks on the door. My family was back home early. After several knocks, they let themselves in...and there my boyfriend and I were, butt-ass naked and mortified. That was the first time my parents met him. Needless to say, he didn’t make a great first impression.” — Karen, 22

“The wetter, the better?”

“I was going down on a guy for the very first time, and I had no idea how to do it. I saw some porn once where this girl was spitting violently on this guy’s dick, so I did the same thing. I didn’t know you only had to spit once or twice—I did it a good eight or nine times before the guy pulled back, laughed, and said, ‘OK, why are you doing that?’ In my defense, I was 19 then and I’ve learned a lot since.” — Vea, 23

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“Never in a moving vehicle...”

“My friends and I were on a roadtrip to Baguio, and my girlfriend and I were in the back row nearest the luggage. It was 1 in the morning and everyone except the driver was asleep, so my girlfriend bent down and started sucking on me. We hit a bump in the road and she practically choked on my dick. I felt her teeth and had to stop myself from groaning in pain.” — Jin, 25

“...and never in a Jollibee bathroom.”

“I’m not proud of this story at all, so I’m going to use as few words as possible. Jollibee bathroom. Very drunk. An employee walked in. A guard was asked to escort us out.” — Aldrin, 26

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