Now, we’re not saying we don’t love being in relationships, we’re just saying that just because you managed to trick, blackmail, and/or hypnotize an actual human female (or male, #lovewins) into actually becoming a couple with you, all of your sawi problems won’t magically disappear. It’s a long, messy journey trying to find happiness and true love as a millennial, no matter what other generations might believe, our relationships are pretty “complicated,” and you probably already know why.
These days, “Dahil mahal kita gusto ko sa SOGO ka” won’t cut it for nights out with the bae anymore. A study by Harris Group, a multi-discipline engineering consulting firm, found that millennials are willing to spend more going to parties, concerts, and other live events. “Seventy-nine percent of millennials feel that going to live events with family and friends helps deepen their relationships. In fact, 30 percent of millennials say they met someone at a live event that became a good friend.” And if you don’t have the moolah, staycations are still a thing.
Your friends think that you come as a package deal
Look guys, we know you’re trying to be polite, and while we do love spending time with our girlfriends, we aren’t conjoined. We can actually function for an entire afternoon without being in the presence of one another, just make sure there’s cell service wherever we decide to hang out because if she texts and we can’t answer, you’ll have to get us a pretty good lawyer for that court hearing.
You forget how to talk to your homies
A study by the US National Library of Medicine called "All my children: The roles of semantic category and phonetic similarity in the misnaming of familiar individuals" found "that familiar individuals are often misnamed with the name of another member of the same semantic category.” That simply means that our brains tend to relate to people whom we feel the same way about, which contributed to the misnaming. So the next time you call your brod by your girlfriend’s name, just say it means that you love them. Wait, that’s still kinda weird.
Deleting Tinder (Cushioning)
Tinder has become one of the most iconic apps of the millennial generation because of how convenient it is to meet and actually keep connected to people you’re actually interested in. That’s why cushioning has become a big thing for some millennials who are just beginning a serious relationship. Cushioning just means still entertaining other possible partners, just in case your main relationship doesn’t work out. Basically, the cushion zone is where abangers usually reside.
Ever had a girl lead you on just to never talk to you again without any word? Social media has allowed millennials, who are generally “collaborative, accepting, and non-confrontational” to be more apathetic towards other people’s feelings, says the book Web True.0: Why the Internet and Digital Ethnography Hold the Key to Answering Questions Research Can’t. Ghosting is one of the worst things a person can do in a relationship because you’re leaving the person with no explanation, closure, or even a goodbye before totally vanishing. We barely knew thee...
Social media trust issues
A study online from Brunel University UK, "Personal Relationships: Attachment styles as predictors of Facebook-related jealousy and surveillance in romantic relationships," connected social media presence with the decline of relationship quality between couples. Many of Facebook’s applications allow users to hide online interactions with other people, to be forever erased from online existence (or maybe that’s just what they want you to believe).
Social media anxiety
“Nearly 7 in 10 (69%) millennials experience FOMO. In a world where life experiences are broadcasted across social media, the fear of missing out drives millennials to show up, share, and engage,” according to Harris Group. The anxiety of social media puts a lot of unnecessary stress on millennial couples to live lives as great as their peers. Seriously, why do we love Facebook so much?
Trying to schedule eating, sleeping, and time to cry about not having a healthy work-life balance on a private social media account hidden from your co-workers is hard enough by yourself; now you actually have to schedule things with another person handling different yet equally irritating problems as yourself seems nearly impossible. Well, you know what they say, kapag ayaw may dahilan, kapag gusto laging merong paraan. Kage bunshin no jutsu!
Wanting to move out but having no money
If we got a thousand pesos for every time a baby boomer told us that we should be more financially independent, we would still be in a worse economic state than them. According to a cross-generational analysis of Millennials today compared to Boomers when they were young adults by The Young Invincibles—a company founded by a group millennials that research on economic trends that affect millennials—“Millennials [in the US] have amassed a net wealth half that of Boomers at the same age.”
Being judged for living in
Now that you’ve managed to win the lottery and have enough money to move out from your parent’s place, you have to deal with the stigma society has put onto couples who’ve decided to live together. There have been a lot of statistics that support cohabitation before marriage, and there are a lot of statistics that go against it, we say, we’re not here to judge and neither should you. This year’s sexiest woman couldn’t have said it better, “C’mon guys, it’s 2017.” Chill with the hate, yo.
Too many labels (or none at all)
Whether you’re casually dating, in transition to becoming an official couple, or if it’s all just a thing, DTR (defining the relationship) has always been one of the most awkward parts of a “relationship” for millennials. Locking in that relationship status update on Facebook feels having to choose between the red or blue pill. There’s no going back unless you want to receive countless of concerned messages saying, “Okay lang yan! Tara inom,” from old high school acquaintances.
Stratifying social circles has never been this confusing
We’re not just talking about the old Princess and the Pauper set up or the rugged probinsyano falls in love with the wealthy haciendera type thing; because of the diverse lifestyles and worldviews of most millennials, finding a partner with friends compatible with yours becomes increasingly difficult. “We can’t really hang with your Marcos-Apologist friend, babe. Sorry not sorry.”
Mahal na mahal mo siya
Being in a relationship with a great person is one of the most frustrating and exhausting experiences a guy can have in his life yet every guy dreams of it. Masokista ba tayo? Maybe despite all the days of budgeting your measly income to have money for dates, developing chronic headaches from meaningless LQ’s, and all the other shit that comes with loving someone so deeply that it kinda makes the struggle worth it, you know in your heart that everything’s worth it. Hirap magmahal, noh? Well, at least kasama mo siya.