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All The Things Bros Want 2014: For The One Percent (aka The Rich Mofos)

A list of the super expensive things we'd all buy if we had the dough&mdash;because<em> #LibreLangAngMangarap</em>!&nbsp;
by Ash Mahinay | Dec 17, 2014
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Christmas is right around the corner, and thankfully, you've learned your lessons from holidays past and started Christmas shopping early. Or not. If you're like us, you're probably still just counting those freshly withdrawn bills from your 13th month bonus.

Well, we've got news for you buddy: that ain't going to make you happy. Our advice: spend it. Get yourself something really nice, get your girlfriend that bag she's always wanted, and get your parents something other than a Christmas card.

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To help you sort things out, we present you our annual gift guides! Dubbed "All The Things Bros Want 2014," we've hunted down all the things we'd pony up for without hesitation, organized according to the type of guy you are. So whether you're a PlayStation addict, a hardcore fan of retro Jordans, or the type of guy that checks Lookbook on a daily basis, we've got something for you. #GetClickingAndGetGifting

It's a great time to be part of the one-percent, income disparity has never been more skewed in their favor! Yehey for you, rich brats people!

If you’re lucky enough to be born into wealth, here's a little list of big-spender items for your next high-snobiety Kris Kringle.

Lexus RC F

gift guide for rich kids
Now that the BMW M3 has gone the commoner route with turbocharging, the discerning gentleman’s sport coupe of choice is now the naturally aspirated 5.0L V8 RC F. Nothing like pure displacement emanating from those quad-exhaust tips as you parade at 10kmh around Burgos Circle.

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If you have the dough: P5.868 million

Get it: Lexus dealers around the metro

Lego Death Star

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Witness the surprising cuteness of a fully armed and operational battlestation! After some assembly of course. Whether you’re literally a rich kid or just a rich man-child, this is the playset you are looking for.

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If you have the dough: P38,999

Get it: Hobbes & Landes

Piaget Altiplano

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Are your moneybags already weighing you down that adding a bling watch seems like a hassle? Well the Piaget Altiplano is the current GOAT of ultrathin chronographs (rich speak for crazily accurate watch) and ain’t heavy at all at only 8.24mm thick.

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If you have the dough: P1.9 million

Get it: Rustan’s Department Stores

Porsche Design P9983

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See what they did there with the price? Cheeky Germans. Some say Blackberry is dated tech but it shouldn’t matter because the P9983 is probably just your second work phone or something, Mr. Big Businessman. (Fun fact: its predecessor the P9982 came in at P99,990. What a steal this new one is! #sarcasm)

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If you have the dough: P99,883

Get it: Porsche Design, Resorts World Manila

Sony KD-85X9500B

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Forget the mind-bending model name; just tell your friends that it’s an 85-inch 4K LCD 3D TV. Almost as wide as that wall in your five-star condo room; it’s tempting to just watch the next Pacquiao fight on this baby instead of live in Vegas/Macau as you often do.

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If you have the dough: P1,199,999

Get it: Sony Philippines

McIntosh C1000 Tube PreAmp

The true rich have preamplifiers for their amplifiers because it just makes it so much better you know? The C1000 runs on those old-timey vacuum tubes for that warm organic sound–perfect for listening to the aural vomit that is “Turn Down For What”.

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If you have the dough: P562,500

Get it: Listening In Style

Segway X2

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This is the meaty off-road version of the regular Segway so you can not only tool around in the privacy of your mansion, but also roll lazily around the grounds of your hacienda as you berate your banana growers or something. When in a rush, wind it out to its top speed of 20kph over a 19km range.

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If you have the dough: P450,000

Get it: R.O.X.

Tibetan Mastiff

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These pooches are not necessarily the world’s most expensive pets, but since we’re keeping it legal, let’s stick to expensive dogs that look like mini-lions instead. They look majestic enough!

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If you have the dough: P120,000+

Get it:

Montblanc Alfred Hitchcock Limited Edition Fountain Pen

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Did Hitchcock actually pen classic screenplays like Psycho and Vertigo with a Montblanc? Well, no, because he was the director and not a writer. This pen is simply a tribute to the man and your unfettered spending habits.

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If you have the dough: P166,000

Get it: Montblanc, Shangri-la Mall

Solaire Bayside Villa

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If for some reason you can’t have a party at home (because Momma don’t want stains, of whatever kind, on her carpet) then stay the night at Solaire’s 524-559 square meter suites. It’s conveniently near NAIA for those impromptu flights to Hong Kong for brunch the next day, too.

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If you have the dough: P150,000 a night

Get it: Contact Solaire Resort & Casino for reservations

Click here for more of the FHM Gift Guide 2014!

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