So, you’ve never been rejected your entire life? It’s one of two things: Either you’re not in touch with reality (and you’re crazy) or you’re a big fat liar. Take your pick.
You see, everyone has been rejected at least once in his life. There’s that dream company you wanted to work for who said they’d get back to you but never did. And then there’s the girl who told you off because you were “too good” for her, although you know that’s just bullcrap.
For some reason, it hurts more to be rejected by the fairer gender. It’s also funny that we call them that— “fairer"—because they’re nowhere near being fair to us chaps who have to nurse our poor, bruised egos.
Don’t believe whatever crap women feed you when they tell you it’s a no. No matter how heartwarming and ego-stroking a lady’s reason is for rejecting you, basted is basted. And when you’re basted, it’s because she doesn’t like you.
There, I said it.
Now, let's talk about...
THE 7 BASTED LIES WOMEN SAY TO REJECT GULLIBLE MEN
There are certain lies women tell us again and again whenever they want to reject us. It’s like they have a secret collection of things to say to get rid of us as conveniently as possible. Here I decode some of the most common basted lines. (Yes, I’ve been rejected as much—if not more—than you have.) So the next time you hear these deceptive, cunning little lies, you’ll know exactly what they mean.
1) “You’re too good for me”
What it really means: "Mabait ka nga, pangit ka naman."
There’s a reason why nice guys finish last. Since they’re nice, they’re unlikely to call out women who push them around or kick them out like bulok na basura.
Hold back the tears, man:
2) “We are better off as friends”
What it really means: "Basted ka sa'kin pero gagamitin pa rin kita, ha?"
Why would a girl get rid of a guy if the guy is willing to do anything for her? Since you’re apparently not good enough to be her boyfriend, she will let you take the role of “friend.” That way, she gets the best of both worlds: She gets to bang a hotter guy while you do all the dirty work (i.e. picking her up at some location, running a few errands for her).
All the while, you look at her longingly as she and her prince charming recreate touching Disney scenes:
3) “You’re my best friend”
What it really means: "Akala ko bading ka tapos bigla mo akong liligawan?"
Unlike the “we are friends” lie, you really started off as friends, maybe because you thought it was a good stratagem that put you one step ahead of everyone else trying to sleep with her.
The only reason she even accepted your friendship was because she thought you both liked one thing: handsome, hunky men! The moment she realizes what you’re up to, you will be reduced to the status of “best friend.”
Also, her other best friends are trying to hold back themselves from bursting in laughter at your situation:
4) “It’s not you, it’s me”
What it really means: "Ikaw ang may gusto sa'kin—ako naman, nandidiri talaga sa'yo."
Basically, it's like this but with the roles switched:
I can almost bet that any woman who gives you this line is actually out to hurt your feelings. After all, everybody knows what this line truly means.
Now, you know. #alamnathis
5) “Hindi pa ako ready”
What it really means: "Hindi pa ako ready pagtiyagaan ang pagmumukha mo…magpapaligaw muna ako sa mga mas pogi at mas mayaman sa'yo."
Yet again, it's another way for her to say...
Do you honestly think that she’s not ready? Not ready my ass! If a hotter guy happens to ask her out right then and there, she would have sold you to some slavemaster and used the money to buy a nice dress for their date!
6) “You’re like a brother to me”
What it really means: "Ang hinahanap ko, yung lalakeng aalagaan ako, hindi totoy na aalagaan ko."
If she tells you this, you probably keep a toy collection in your room…and you’re probably still living with your mom. Yeah, and despite her indulgent laughter whenever you tell her some random superhero trivia, she’s probably just sick of hearing about how you’ve memorized the entire Marvel universe by heart.
7) “Focus muna ako sa studies, strict kasi ang parents ko”
What it really means: "Ayoko mag-focus sa'yo kasi hindi ko masikmura ang hitsura mo."
In the NBA, this is akin to having your shot rejected by the Big Diesel:
Because, like your jump shot against the big guy, mukhang wala kang mararating.
She simply doesn't see you as The Key to escaping her parents' forcible grip.
Why do women even say these basted lines, anyway? Perhaps they think it’s much better than saying, “Ang pangit mo, dukha ka, at wala akong mapapala sa'yo!” to our faces.
Fellow pogi, don’t fret. While focusing on your career after a lifetime of rejection, you will get richer and have more money to spend on pampagwapo. Meanwhile, those ladies who rejected you will gain a ton of weight. It’s just a matter of time. Abang ka lang, boy.
About the author: Stanley Chi penned the books Suplado Tips, Pogi Points, and the National Bookstore bestseller Men Are From QC, Women Are From Alabang. His most recent book, Chicken Mami for the Sawi, is now available in bookstores nationwide. Stanley is also a comedian, host, and brand ambassador. Follow him on Instagram (@supladotips) and Twitter (@stanleychi)!