There are times when girlfriends lose control of their liquor, sometimes resulting in a disaster-ridden drunken stupor.
As much as boyfriends want to party and #YOLO hard with their ladies, guys need to look out for their girls, especially when wine or colorful drinks are involved (women love their whiskey and beer, too, so take heed). Not to control them or anything, but as Mr. Trustworthy Boypren, you'd want to make sure that the girlfriend is okay, and not doing crazy stuff such as choking and dying on her alcohol-laced vomit. That would be really bad.
In this edition of the FHM Girlfriend Manual, we teach you how to take care of your drunk-as-a-skunk girlaloo—without being labeled a “buzzkill”!
1) Recognize that she’s getting drunk, suggest lighter options
If she’s slurring her words, losing her balance, getting cross-eyed or going Exorcist on you, it’s time to discourage her from taking another shot of tequila.
She might persist in getting the infamous “last drink,” but suggest a lighter option such as a watered-down Margarita instead. Tell the bartender/waiter to keep the tequila light. Better yet: water or juice. Then calmly tell her that the two of you can go home anytime she wants to (the sooner, the better). Try seducing her to get her to get home. If it's not working, well brother, either she ain't drunk enough or you really weren't gonna get any from this sister.
2) Remind her not to mix her drinks
Keep an eye on what she has on her hands or else this happens:
Drinking different kinds of alcohol and lack of water are the primary culprits behind the most grueling hangovers in history. Sure, taking shots from every person in the room holding a different bottle might seem the "proper" thing to do in a party, but tell her that her throbbing head and reddened face the next day aren’t worth another flaming shot.
3) Don’t say anything that might provoke or anger her
Be calm, reassuring, and if you can, be sweet while dropping hints that she might be drinking too much.
Whisper “Are you tipsy?” jokingly and kiss her afterwards, or gently hold her shoulder.
Words you should NOT say: “Lasing ka na eh!” This will spark a bad case of befuddled (and embarrassingly loud) debate between the two of you, with the other absolutely convinced that she’s right and totally not drunk. Beware, the wrath of a drunken woman.