So while we were "researching for material" earlier this morning, we stumbled upon this interesting clip titled "The Bikini Game" on YouTube. It features a handful of sexy Japanese gravure idols in skimpy bikinis:
Fantastic, right? We mean what could go wrong? Everyone is doing fine, as the girls chat and bond with each other at the studio.
Suddenly, one of them notices a "Daruma" doll, a weird egg-like thing that's definitely Japanese.
And when there's a "Daruma" doll around, it apparently triggers cute Japanese babes to play that classic "Pepsi-Pepsi-Seven Up" game that true '90s kanto kids remember.
The results are quite...bouncy.
Mr. Daruma thoroughly inspects all of them in statue mode. (Uhm, need help, Daruma-san?)
Now, round two! This game's really getting good, huh?
Round three! Will Daruma-san be lucky this time? Oh, no! Damn you, gravity!
Were they still moving when Daruma-san turned around? Here's an instant replay that you won't mind watching over and over again.
Yes, she was caught moving! As punishment, her boobs will grow until...it explodes into green goo! Exactly how we remember... Wait, that's not how it should happen! WHAT THE HELL, JAPAN?!
The killer Daruma despises things that move, especially things that bounce! Girls, don't run!
Too late. Sorry, cute Japanese idols.
Apparently, the thing we just saw is a promo for a movie about a vengeful Daruma. (Or who the hell knows? This is Japan after all.)
What we're pretty sure of is that this guy—whom we've affectionately begun to call Boy Daga—will show up to save the day.
Oh Japan, you win at weirdness again.
Here's the full video: