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To Our Bro Who Dropped Off The Face Of The Earth After Getting Into A Relationship
'You left us like a sack of potatoes, man!'
by Mary Rose A. Hogaza | Feb 26, 2016
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Bro,

Where are you? Are you ok? Are you still alive? It's been months since the tropa last saw you. That was when you got into a relationship—a point in time when you dropped us like a sack of potatoes.

Potatoes, man. We're people not root crops.

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When you told the gang you've found the one ("Tinamaan ako, pare! Ito na yun!"), we thought that was awesome. Finally, you can stop your bachelor dreams of topping Wilt Chamberlain's sex record. (Just kidding; you were always the behaved one.) We were glad, and we looked forward to getting to know The One, you cheeseball.

But that didn't happen.

You disappeared completely—and it's way past that six-month new-relationship honeymoon stage. (Unless of course the sex has been that hot and heavy, then go ahead, ignore the rest of what the Internet might call an "open letter.")

That's not cool, bro.

One, because it makes us think of a couple of things:

Does she hate us?

Are you not proud of us? (Okay fine, puking on your mom's couch was embarrassing.)

Were we even friends?

But here's the most pressing question: I'm sure we can find a way where we can all hang together. Okay, so that wasn't even a question. But my point is, don't forget that you have friends.

We don't need to hang as much as before but you have to learn how to balance your role as a boyfriend and as a buddy. If she loves you, she'll understand. And if we're really friends, you won't be so hesitant to get her to get to know us.

We were there for you at 2:00 a.m. while you were crying over the girl who broke your heart! 'Memba that?

Sincerely,

A concerned friend

 

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