What’s the scariest story you’ve ever heard? The one about the headless nuns roaming the grounds of your school, or maybe it’s the story about the white lady in the abandoned house next door?
In the age of movies like The Conjuring and Paranormal Activity, horror has become as personal and mainstream as it gets. Well and good, but we've also reached a point where most of us don’t get easily scared anymore. It seems like there are no more stories to be told that’ll shock and frighten us, making our hearts want to beat out of our chests,
That is, until now.
We've collected the scariest and most embarassing sex stories from several of our readers (and a couple from our dear FHM mainstays!) that you would never want to happen to you.
Read on and have a taste of what true fear and shock feel like.
HARD BLOOD (Jenny, 29)
I was about to have sex with this really weird French guy I met at a party at my school. He was really flamboyant and "French" but he was pretty hot so I didn’t mind. We were at the school’s soccer field benches making out, and we were taking our clothes off already. I couldn’t see him very clearly though, but I think this added to the excitement of things.
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We were going at it, and I noticed he started really getting into so I shifted my body to get his thing even deeper. He stopped thrusting and suddenly started crying. I was like, "What the hell?!" Then he started screaming in French and removed the condom and that’s when I saw his very weirdly-shaped dick. It was extremely bended to the side and was bleeding. I asked him what happened, and he said, "You broke my dick!"
SPEED BUMP (Angel, 22)
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I was on a long drive with my boyfriend during a road trip. He was getting sleepy so I decided to go down on him. We were both going pretty fast when we suddenly hit a speed bump and tumalsik yung stuff niya sa mata ko. He didn’t have any tissue in the car so I was pretty pissed so I just wiped it off his shirt. I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the trip.
THE SISTER'S REVELATION (James, 26)
My fubu was feeling naughty one night and called me up for a quickie at her parents’ house while they were out of town. When I got there, she was feeling extra naughty and wanted to do it on her parents’ bed. I obliged since I knew this chick was crazy from the get-go. After we finished the deed, I couldn’t find my underwear. We looked for it for about an hour but we couldn’t find it anywhere. We heard the sound of the door openning, which caused us to panic.
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Thankfully my fubu found my underwear underneath the bed, and I finally got dressed. Her sister caught us in her parents’ bedroom but she was cool about it and let me leave without any hassle. While driving home, I got a text from my fubu’s sister that said, "Uy, nakita ko brief mo sa may banyo. Ano’ng gagawin ko rito? Ha ha!" Confused, I pulled-over to the sidewalk and checked–I was wearing her dad’s used underwear!
THE OLD PHOTO (Jose, 28)
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I was having some alone time with the pictures of my crush’s Boracay vacation in the bathroom one hot summer day. I saved them on my phone before entering since my 3G couldn’t catch a signal inside for some reason (better prepared than frustrated, I always say). So I was really getting into it, scrolling through each picture, one by one, until I could feel the end coming. As I was about to finish, I accidentally scrolled one more frame than I should have, which caused it to switch to the first picture I ever took with my phone–a picture of my lola. – Jose, 28
ENTITY (Bianca Peralta, FHM Model)
I’ve always had this entity enter my (and sometimes even my ex-boyfriend’s) dreams and whisper things to me that I couldn’t understand. It would get on top of me and murmur things while heavily breathing on my face. I was scared at first because I don’t know what it is but after a while I think I got used to it watching (over) me. It showed up as a blurry aura once while I was taking a sexy selfie. It still feels weird knowing that it might be watching while I’m taking a shower or getting intimate with someone, but I’ve accepted the fact that I can’t really do anything about it. I don’t get naked inside the house as much as possible now, and I think that's been keeping it at bay.
IN BETWEEN (Mark, 19)
It was my first time to have sex with a prostitute. I was always curious about what it would feel like to actually pay for sex so I wanted to try it. I visited a well-known red light district, and I met with a pimp who looked kinda legit (he was wearing a fedora). He introduced me to a very pretty girl. She was tall, had very fair skin, and had really big boobs so I agreed to the terms. We got to the hotel, and I was pretty excited so I undressed her quickly.
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I wanted to go down on her but she insisted that we close the lights first. I asked why while I started removing her panties—and that’s when I saw it. I saw something that I was sure wasn’t a clit and wasn’t a penis either—something in between. She said she had surgery on it, and that she was practically a girl if we just turned off the lights.
PARKING LOT SCARE (Abby Poblador, FHM Model)
I was having car sex with my guy in a mall basement parking lot. I was completely naked, taking pleasure from riding him, when I felt something watching us. We stopped what we were doing and looked closely. Two dark figures approached us from the darkness. There were two security guards knocking on our windows. I have never been so nervous in my life!
We both got dressed in front of them (I think they were taking the chance to boso). We were then asked to report to the admin's office and pay the fine! Good thing my guy was able to fix it right away and the guards did not take us to their office. Both of us were pretty frustrated, yet still excited from the fact that it was our first time getting caught so we decided to continue what we were doing at another parking lot, ha ha!