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REAL TALK: Don't Push Her Head During Oral Sex

'I feel like I want to murder my partner every time he does that'
by Mary Rose A. Hogaza | Apr 7, 2016
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Blowjobs. It's an amazing experience, a great prelude to sex, or a full course on its own. But your girlfriend doesn't seem happy whenever she goes down on you. Know why? Because you keep pushing her head towards your genitals during the act.

To give you an idea how she feels like, we asked five real women, ages 20 to 30, to share their opinion about it. Below are their eye-opening answers:

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1) She's no porn star

"Despite what many men wish, normal women like me are not a porn star. I've read somewhere that those girls study expert techniques as part of their profession. So don't expect us to be as good as them when it comes to oral sex abilities." —Ara, 22

2) It's disrespectful

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"The 'head push' must be stopped. If you respect your girlfriend, let her control the rhythm so she'll be comfortable. It can be considered as an abusive act. Ask for consent before doing it." —Sel, 29

3) It kills the mood

"It feels degrading. If he wants me to give him a deep throat blowjob, he can simply ask without pushing my head down there. It just kills my mood." —Chelsea, 25


4) She feels abused

"I know it's more satisfying for them when they do it. Mas nafe-feel nila yung heat. But based on my experience, it's really uncomfortable. It makes me want to stop. It's as if I need air muna to breathe. And often, hindi mo na siya na-e-enjoy kasi you're just forced to do it para ma-satisfy ang partner mo. Guys have to stop it kasi if a girl wants to go deeper, she would do it naman.” —Jane, 27

5) She wants you to communicate beforehand

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"I feel like I want to murder my partner every time he does that. Just tell us straight what you want to happen before we give you a BJ. We'll listen or we'll be willing to negotiate if we can't do what you want to happen." —Betty, 20

Meanwhile, Dr. Ava Cadell, a sex therapist and the person behind the loveology portal, says that the head push is the biggest complaint she has ever heard from women. If you want her to give you a deep throat, Dr. Cadell advises that you "give her compliments on how good she is at giving oral and how beautiful she looks while she is doing it."

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