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How To Date A Woman Who Earns More Than You

It all starts by seeing yourself beyond absolute numbers
by Mary Rose A. Hogaza | Aug 25, 2016
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Gone are the days when men go out for work and women stay at home to look after the kids. These days, women are not just bringing home the bacon, but the steaks, too.

In fact, a research conducted by life insurance company Prudential Financial shows that majority of women now earn more than their male counterparts. Of the more than 1,400 women surveyed—40 percent of whom were single—nearly 75 percent said that they earn more than their partner because of the "challenging economy." The researchers also added that women are three times more likely to have financial accounts that their other half doesn't know about.

Most men would say they don't mind if they're female partners pay the bill during a date, but whether you admit it or not, the set-up could hurt your ego and make you feel insecure (and therefore, unhappy and unfulfilled in the relationship).

A man's self-worth, however, doesn't have to be dependent on his ability to financially provide for his woman alone, according to Kay S. Bunagan, MA, RP, and a founding partner of Better Steps Psychology.

"Success can be measured using different metrics. Income and status are only two of them. A lot of intangible things are just as important as success: happiness, stability, love, kindness, humor, strength, willpower, beauty, generosity, and respect from the community. The list goes on," says Bunagan.

"Insecurity has no place when dating a successful woman. Manhood should not be measured by money alone. It should be based on something stronger and more enduring than that. Things like character, courage, fortitude, dependability, [and] kindness [matter most]."

Strive to bring more in terms of other areas such as providing psychological support, Bunagan suggests. And keep in mind that she is not going out with you because of what you have in your wallet. The stability, provision, and protection you could provide matter to her.

"If she is able to provide those basic needs for herself (and her offspring, whether current or future), then it is likely she may be looking for someone who can provide higher needs for love, sex, belongingness, esteem, fulfillment and perhaps help her self-actualize," says Bunagan, who's also a lecturer at Ateneo de Manila University.

Rizza, 26, an I.T. specialist who earns twice as much as her boyfriend does, shares that although she makes more than him and can afford to buy herself whatever she wants, she still loves receiving gifts from her partner—just because it's from her partner.

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"You don't have to impress me by buying me designer clothes or bags," she says. "A chocolate or a piece of rose is enough to make me feel special and loved. You don't also have to take me to five-star hotels during dates. Take me to an isawan or turo-turo, I don't care. What matters most is the thought that you want to spend time with me."

Meanwhile, Abby, 31, single and earns P45,000 a month, says she easily gets turned off when her date appears intimidated. "Don't lose your confidence, but don't be too mayabang. Be sure in who you are and what you say. We don't want to be seen as business moguls when we are on a date; we just want to be seen as attractive women."

Bunagan reminds that we have much value beyond what we earn. "Try to see yourself beyond absolute numbers. These figures can change as you go along as long as you keep working hard and building your career."

 

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