"Going to party with your friends again?"
"Stop playing DOTA!"
"Why don't you reply to my text messages immediately!?"
You always hear those words come out of your girlfriend's mouth. Sometimes you snap back at her. Then you start fighting. Now she's crying. And you're yelling. Everything's gone to shit and it's your job to clean up the steaming, messy pile of, well, shit. So how do you deal with nagging before the vicious cycle starts again?
First off, have you ever considered that you might be the one causing her nagging?
Before you resort to anything rash, be like Buddha. Choose non-violence, take the less aggressive route and find out why she's nagging in the first place.
Why does your girl feel the need to repeat the same thing over and over and over again? Relationship coach and romance author Aileen Santos says it's because she feels like you're not hearing her out.
"If guys want their girlfriends to stop nagging they have to pay attention to them," she advises.
Paying attention doesn't mean you have to do what your girlfriend says and abandon precious DOTA time altogether. Rather, it's being prepared to talk things out and compromise.
Here's what you do: Be a real man. Put down that mouse to have a conversation with your girl. Ask her what's really bothering her. Chances are she's not really opposed to NBA or the PS4, according to Santos. Instead, "it's usually because she feels taken for granted."
Once you've learned what she's upset about, agree on a compromise. You know your girl is feeling left out so do something about it. Find a middle ground you can both agree on and stick with it.
Take a cue from the compromises these guys (and girl) in relationships have agreed to:
"I have girl friends. My girlfriend hates it when I would go hang out with them. That's what she'd nag about. Minsan lalambingin ko na lang siya. But what works for us if I make arrangements na isama siya next time sa lakad." —LJ, 24
"I tell her my DOTA plans so she won't keep texting or calling me when I'm playing. And when we're together I focus on her. I don't check my phone as often or play games on it." —Justin, 25
"My girlfriend used to text me all the time about where I am, what I am doing and why I am not able to text her back. We would fight about it. Then we agreed that we needed to have an open communication with each other. You have to make a girl feel secure na hindi mo siya nakakalimutan." —Nico, 25
"I nag him because he's always late. Feel ko na pag 'di siya on time sa mga lakad namin, he doesn't value our time together or he doesn't think I'm important. We've talked about it. He says he's busy and I'm trying to be more understanding about it." —Bea, 23
So next time you're in a similar situation, consider discussing some of the above with your girl. It will make her happy. You'll also be able to play DOTA in peace without your mom—este your girlfriend—burning a hole through your headphones. Win-win.
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