Asking for a girl’s number always comes with the risk of rejection, or worse, fake digits. But as with most important things in life, the hits are usually worth the misses. Take on the challenge and see your efforts rewarded (or not). Either way, these tips can see you off to a good start.
At a bar:
You’d think that a bar would be the easiest place to get lucky, but unless you’re the bar owner, it’s actually quite challenging. That said, it’s not impossible. For Ronald, 29, it all boils down to intention. “Don’t just ask for her number because you want her number. Ask for her number so you can invite her to an event in the same bar later in the week or to an after party somewhere else.” With a clearer agenda, you take away the sleaze factor that’s usually associated with bars and men.
The great thing about the Internet is that you can actually build rapport with the person you like over time. In fact, May, 26, says that she’s more likely to give her real number to a person she’s met online than to some random dude at a bar—proof that in this digital age, a good conversation, along with above average stalking skills, is usually more than enough to see you through. Once you’ve gotten to know each other, take the conversation offline by asking for her number.
At the beach:
The beach is a great place to meet new people. After all, it’s teeming with extroverts, so says one study. But if you spot a girl you like, her outgoing personality won’t necessarily guarantee success. Instead of approaching her on your own, make your move in a group. This way, it becomes more a matter of your group hanging out with her group than of you singling her out. Besides, science says you’re 5.6 percent more attractive when you’re with your friends than if you’re on your own.
At the mall:
Asking for a girl’s number at the mall is like setting yourself up for failure, so don’t do it. With so many creeps lurking about, you’re more likely to scare her off.
At a house party:
However, that same woman might be more receptive when she’s at a friend’s (or a friend of a friend’s) party, especially if you let her make the first move. Our tip: Be the approachable and friendly one in the room, the resident photographer, or, as AJ, 31, puts it, “the guy with the guitar”—these can encourage the ladies to go up to you. But be extra observant. Research shows that women communicate their interest in a nonverbal manner, like a smile or eye contact. Blink and you just might miss it.
At a bus stop:
The best time to ask for a girl’s number in a place as public as a bus stop is if you’re a foreigner in an English-speaking country. When Frank, 30, found himself lost on his way to watch a play in Hong Kong, he asked a girl at a bus stop for directions. After she showed him the way, he invited her to tag along and asked for her number so they could hang out the next day. “It was her birthday that day, so she declined, but I met her on the second day of my trip, and she became my travel buddy for the rest of my stay.” The next time you have a trip abroad, try looking like a lost, cultured soul.
The easy way to ask for someone’s number in the office is to ask around. The noble way, however, is to earn it on your own. But even then, it’s still pretty easy. That’s because in a professional setting, women are less likely to assume that you’re asking because you’re interested, and thus, might be more forthcoming with their contact details. “For all she knows, you could be asking for work-related reasons or you could just be networking,” says Lance, 28. While the odds are already in your favor, you still have to put some work into it, because if you botch it up, word will travel fast.