Let’s be real: In an era where #WalangForever is celebrated and even the strongest couple you know can suddenly break up, you might be compelled to latch onto your girl and never let her go—even if it means taking her to every single meet-up or outing with friends.
Some girls might also feel the same way and be the ones insisting on being with their man practically everywhere all the time. If the other can’t go, the one invited might even cancel or flake on his/her friends. Bummer.
“Ano ‘to? ‘Buy 1, Take 1’?”
Little do you know, this “packaged deal” mentality can be destroying your social life already. You might be thinking, “Oh, my girl is so cool. She’s one of the boys, and my boys enjoy her company!” All the while, your friends can be thinking, “Man, we have to censor everything we’re saying. Maybe let’s not invite him next time?”
In some cases, girls don’t even participate in discussions, staying content scrolling through their newsfeeds throughout the hang-out. It’s not always because she’s anti-social or whatever—she might just not be able to relate to a lot of your discussions and inside jokes. “So why did you even bring her then? Ano s’ya, keychain?”
It’s worse if a friend invites you to hang out because he needs a listening ear for his problems. He won’t always be comfortable to divulge his secrets or life struggles to people other than his closest bros. He might even want to hear about your own relationship struggles or your other past experiences, which you won’t want to talk about when your girlfriend is there.
How To Break It To Him Gently
On the flip side, you could be that friend who’s starting to get really annoyed or pissed every time a hangout gets spoiled by an uninvited guest. How do you politely make your bro realize that the madness has to stop and make sure no bridges are burned in the process? (You don’t really hate the girl; you just don’t want her at every single catch-up, after all.) Here are some ways to not upset your friend and/or his girl:
1) Be generous with compliments. They’re free.
You have nothing to lose when you pay a compliment to your friend, his girlfriend, or the two of them as a couple. Just be genuine, and don’t go overboard with it, of course.
Example: “We like hanging out with you and her. She offers great female perspective a lot of times, and it doesn’t hurt that she’s cool with our kalokohan. But sometimes, it’s fun to have a boys’ night out, right?” Okay, that may be a very conyo way of saying it, but you get the idea!
2) Give concrete examples.
Make them realize that there are some things better left unheard by his partner—and those don’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. There’s the occasional (or frequent) exchange of green jokes or maybe a healthy discourse filled with constructive criticisms and praises for beautiful women everywhere (I mean, no one can blame you for never getting tired of saying how insanely hot Kim Domingo was on our January 2017 cover).
Beyond that, there are certain “guy problems” that you don’t want women to know. For instance, your friend wants to discuss privately about having sex with other women even if he's in a secure relationship.
Of course, if women hear it being discussed by guys, their instinct will tell them to be appalled by that certain guy and those who share his sentiment (just because they'd hate to think that their boyfriend could feel the same way or condone the physical/emotional cheating). Your bro’s girlfriend could feel the same way and might automatically dislike your group—which nobody wants to happen, right?
3) Don’t say it like an ultimatum.
Ultimatums are never a good idea. When you threaten to single him out in future catch-ups, the whole thing could backfire. Instead of getting your precious boys’ nights out back or strengthening your bond as friends, your bro could think that you’re just a sucky person who isn’t really a true friend.
4) In some cases, it’s as simple as telling the truth and nothing but the whole truth.
Let’s say you have a tight budget for your birthday dinner. Just tell your friend you can only pay for a limited number of guests. If you think the girl won’t enjoy waiting all night for her guy to finish playing NBA on PlayStation, feel awkward when you start talking about sex and past or present women, or maybe freak out when all of you become f*ing wasted, paint him a picture. We’re sure your friend can realize your sentiment or at least take the hint.
Of course, there could be a few special circumstances when you or your friend has a clingy, paranoid girlfriend from hell. That’s a whole other story, and there’s never an easy way to break it to him.