Being in a committed relationship isn’t as easy as it sounds. It takes great courage for you to give your other half the bullets for them to load the gun, and the guts to trust that person won’t shoot you. And mind you, it is actually true when people say that what hurts the most is a betrayal that comes from the people you least expect it from.
A perfect example is when I broke up with my boyfriend of almost seven years. What looked like a perfect and happy relationship to many, collapsed with just one text message.
We spent our 82nd monthsary at a five star hotel. It was also a double-celebration for his birthday. The next day, he went back to work. Everything seemed fine. Just like most days, he texted me when he was on his way to work, when he had already arrived, and the moment he left the office.
Then that fateful day came. On May 14, 2015, a Thursday, he texted me early in the morning (his shift is at 6:00 a.m.) that he was on his way to work. I was waiting for his text that afternoon to say he had already left the office, but I didn't hear from him.
I received a text message from his co-worker, which contained nothing more than a greeting. I asked his co-worker if my ex-boyfriend was requested by their boss to do overtime. He said that my ex-boyfriend didn’t even show up to work that day.
I started to panic. He was lying to me. I started calling his mobile number but he wouldn’t pick up. After a few hours of missed my calls, I almost lost my mind. Then I received the message that shattered my world. It read: "Sorry. Di ko na kaya ma. Sumusuko na ko. Sorry alam ko hindi na to maayos dahil sa mali na nagawa ko. May mahal na din akong iba. Sorry sa lahat. Siguro eto na yung last text ko sayo. Sana mapatawad mo ako pag dating ng tamang panahon. I love you. Sorry sa lahat."
After reading this, I started questioning myself. Where did I go wrong? Was it something I said?
I called him a few times after reading this but he didn’t answer. I decided to call my friend who lived nearby our house since I badly needed someone to talk to. I told her everything I knew, which was not much.
A day after, I met up with some of our common friends to tell them that they shouldn’t look for him anymore because he already ended our relationship. All of them were surprised. I couldn’t even give them the exact reason as I did not know it myself.
Days passed and I mustered up the courage to tell my family, who had been really close to him. I told them: “Huwag nyo na siyang hanapin. Hindi na sya babalik.” After dropping those words, I immediately left the house and went out with friends.
After more than a week, before I left home for work, my mom said: “Balita ko magkakaanak na si XXX ah." I think my mom assumed that I knew all along, so I just gave her a poker face. After I caught a ride to work, I couldn’t help but cry. I couldn't believe that this was what I got after I did everything to take good care of our relationship.
He never heard anything from me even if I had every right to go berserk on him. I guess I felt like I needed to save a tiny piece of dignity for myself. Yes, cursing him sounded promising, and I admit that I looked for ways to get back at him for leaving me behind. But revenge wouldn't change the fact that he was already with someone else and they were going to have a baby. I knew nothing about the girl except that she was his co-worker.
Through social media, I discovered that their child was born on December 2015. When I did the math, that meant that at least two months overlapped between his sexual infidelity and what I thought was our loyal relationship. It was another blow. It felt like our 7 years together was just a lie.
Since we broke up, I've only heard from him twice. Once when he greeted me on my birthday, and the other was when he asked me to talk to him personally.
Maybe talking to him in person could make everything better. I don't want to talk to him, though. Let’s face it, it’s too late.
Let this be a lesson for everyone—a lesson that trust isn’t a cheap trinket to just give away freely.
I'm not sure if I'm happy, but one thing is for sure, I wouldn’t have it any other way, and I know I will only be stronger after this.