It has been months since the last time I've seen him, but I can still remember how we met.
I was with my friends during this year's LaBoracay. The day before we left the island, we decided to get a few drinks. We were sharing random stories when a cute guy arrived in the bar. I couldn't help but stare at him. I was quite surprised when he approached me and asked if he could buy me a drink. Who was I to say no? He joined us and we shared a conversation.
It didn't take long before the booze kicked in. My body kind of felt warm and cozy. He asked me if I wanted to rest in his hotel since it was nearer than where I was staying. I knew he wasn't being nice and just wanted to get laid, but I agreed to his offer.
When we arrived in his room, his friends were already sleeping. We decided to make out quietly in the balcony. I was so tired so I decided to stay for the night. The next morning, he insisted on buying me breakfast and walked me back to my hotel. I felt happy and comfortable around him. I didn't want that moment to end.
I asked my friends if we could extend our stay in Boracay because I wanted to see him again but everyone needed to go back to work.
When I arrived in Manila, I told myself I should forget everything that happened between us because I knew it was just a summer fling and a one night stand. These affairs always ended in heartbreak.
A few days after, I received a direct message on Snapchat. It was him. He invited to me to dinner, but I declined because I knew his real intentions. He was persisten, and it took days before I finally agreed to seeing him again.
We didn't know where to eat, so we decided to stay in his house instead. He prepared Ramen and some alcoholic beverages. We both got drunk that night and decided to take things between the sheets. He suddenly asked: "Are we doing this exclusively?" and went on by clarifying that we were just "fuck buddies." I simply responded with an "okay" because I was also having fun.
The relationship continued in a cycle: We ate. We drank. We fucked.
After three months, I finally realized that I no longer wanted to be just his fuck buddy. I fell in love with him and there was nothing I wanted more than for us to become an official couple. I solicited advice from my friends. They told me that there was no point of telling him about how I really felt because he already highlighted our label from the start.
I was hoping that one day he'd tell me that he loved me, so the sick cycle continued. But one day, he just stopped inviting me to go out. No messages. No calls. No explanations. He just disappeared like a bubble.
I was so desperate to see him and hear his explanation so I went to his office. He did not say a thing and there was nothing I could do but feel bad about myself.
Now, I regret everything that happened between us. I regret sleeping with the man who didn't love me back. Above all, I regret starting a relationship the wrong way. A bad beginning can never really have a happy ending.