"Am I big enough?" "What is big enough?" It’s been the throbbing question on every man’s mind since our club-carrying ancestors first painted massive schlongs on cave walls in the dark. Recently, the British Journal of Urology finally cast light on man’s oldest insecurity.
They laboriously measured 15,521 penises—both hard and soft— in a bid to "reassure the large majority of men that the size of their penis is in the normal range." So, what's the average peenor length according to their study? 5.16 inches erect and 3.6 inches flaccid. There, now you know—we’ll leave the measuring to you.
To expound, here are the percentages of the survey with the penis lengths replaced by everyday objects (because numbers are boring):
- 1.93-percent: Stick of lip balm
- 10.61-percent: Nokia 3210
- 64.81-percent: Standard sausage (before cooking)
- 20.70-percent: Relay race baton
- 1.95-percent: A supersized Spanish bread
You're probably not in the 1.95 percentile. We're also not a member. So you're probably asking yourself this as well: What's it like to be really, really, really, really well hung?
Our mates over at FHM UK had the same question in their heads, which they tried to answer by speaking to a dude from New York named Jonah Falcon. Mr. Falcon, 44, happens to own the world’s largest penis. In case you're wondering, his piece is 9.5 inches flaccid and 13.5 inches when erect.
Here are a few of Jonah's juicy quotes from the interview:
"I first realized my penis was above average size when I measured myself at the age of 10. I was 8-inches hard and didn’t think anything of it to be quite honest. My schoolmates were, of course, amazed the first time they saw it in the changing rooms."
"Are there downsides to having a big penis? Well, sometimes it will dip into the toilet water, which can be problematic in certain cases."
"Sex in general isn’t really a problem, though oral sex can be challenging. I’m thicker than my wrist and some scrape teeth on it. I seldom get fully erect when someone is blowing me because of this. I’ll get bigger if they’re super enthusiastic."
"I have had to reassure men about the size of their penises at times. But I am of the ‘how you use it’ camp, and I know how to use the sheer size to do certain things other guys may not be able to."
"My own opinion has been that psychology plays more of a part with penis size during sex than anything else. The conceptualization of something more than twice normal stretching them wide is more arousing than the actual penetration; it’s basically mental foreplay during intercourse, enhancing the actual physical stimulation. Women who prefer small penises probably use that same mental stimulation of a discreet member entering them."
"Women tend to get excited over penises that react favorably in their presence. People like to feel like they turn the other person on, and vice versa. They don’t need the ‘small penises are exciting, too!’ spiel. All penises are exciting, regardless of size."
So, it's confirmed: with great size come oral sex challenges. That, and psychology also plays a big role. Now excuse us as we do some re-measuring...
GIF via Reddebtedstepchild.com