To ensure happiness in your marriage, the sex life has to be consistently satisfying. It will have its ups and downs as many other aspects in your union will, but keeping the fire burning will have its rewards, if you stay persistent and open to possibilities.
Let these tips be your guide.
1) Remember to tell her how lovely she is from time to time
It was all you used to tell her: "You're the most beautiful woman in the world."
Sooner or later, it becomes so commonplace that you stop saying it altogether. Here's a tip: Don't. Actions speak louder than words; but never forget that your words carry significant weight because you're the love of her life.
AllProDad.com suggests, "Tell her often and in different ways. Don't wait until she needs it. Let her know when she isn't expecting it."
2) Remind her of all the beautiful things you two have experienced
Like how you always got a kick talking with her in the cafeteria, her legs touching yours. Or how you used to wait for her after class. Reminiscing is romantic. It pushes you to advance your story further.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Barbara Markway told Huffington Post that when a relationship goes stale, one approach she has found helpful—even with couples on the brink of a divorce—is to talk about the beginning of the relationship. She says remembering your love story helps to remind you about the attraction you felt for each other and the bond that exists between you didn't just magically happen one day, but was built over time.
3) But don't forget to make new memories as well
Of course, you can't afford to be on flashback mode all the time. Experience new things together. It could be as simple as having dinner at that expensive restaurant you've always wanted to take her to, staying at a five-star hotel for the long weekend, or surprising her with a trip abroad.
Relationships are built on moments like this.
Minimalist Matthew of Adventure-Some.com suggests, "Do a common activity in a new place, do something together that you normally do apart, get out of the house, stay in the house."
4) Surprise her by going home ahead of her, and cooking her favorite meal
Yet another way to make an ordinary day feel extraordinary.
Provide excitement by breaking away from the monotony of the daily grind, from the expected. Surprise her while she showers in the morning, for instance, and tell her to not think about being late to the office that day. Just...make sure she has no important meetings that day.
Remember: "If you want your spouse to be pleasantly surprised, notice the type of things liked or enjoyed by your spouse." That simple yet ingenious advice is from marriage expert Sheri Stritof.
5) How about a serenade?
It's about stepping your game up, bro. No matter how many fancy the suits you wear now or how far she's climbed the corporate ladder, it'll always come back to the simple pleasures. Witness: a cheesy harana.
Sing her a song. Be genuine. Sing as if her "matamis na oo" depended on it again.
"Be seductive in the basic ways. The old standbys are still important. Be thoughtful. Do special favors. Lavish loving attention. Be playful. Show enthusiasm. Look your best," Dr. Patricia Love, author of Truth About Love says.
6) Make her feel your physical presence
Touch her. No, not that kind, man. Hold her hands, caress her back, or give her a firm, loving grip on her shoulder. These things make your partner feel secure and loved especially in times of need. By doing this you are giving her the "I'm here for you, you need not worry" kind of assurance. If she feels assured, she'll be more relaxed in bed too.
"The human touch," shares Neil Kennedy, author of Fivestarman: The Five Passions of Authentic Manhood, to Familyshare.com, "has amazingly powerful benefits to both parties—physically, emotionally, physiologically, and even spiritually. Studies have revealed innumerable benefits."
7) Time, time, time
As in any relationship you want to maintain, time is the most essential part of a successful marriage.
Though texting, calling and chatting mean a whole lot to a relationship, there is simply no replacement for actual physical presence. She has to be a part of your daily life. Avoid being gone from her life during the workweek, and then suddenly overcompensating during the weekend. Allot time for her everyday that's hers and hers alone. This will keep you and her emotionally connected, which translates to a better sex life.
Dan Bacon of The Modern Man states, "Quality time is any time that you and your woman spend together that makes you feel closer, more connected and more in love than you were prior to that moment. The quality time might be 20 minutes out of an entire evening together at home, or it might be hours. The amount of the quality time doesn't always matter, as long as you do it often enough to keep the relationship feeling good."
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