Psst! Wanna get laid? Idaan mo sa regalo!
Less than a week after my birthday, I am up to my neck in gifts, and I don’t think I'll be able to use all of them. Lucky for the women in your lives, they don’t have to be in the same predicament.
There’s nothing wrong with giving flowers to the girl you wanna score with. But if that’s all you can think of giving her, I pity her. And given how you don’t know how to use gifts as potent sex weapons, I pity you even more!
What the world needs more of are hi-octane gifts that say, "Yes, I'm a risk-taker. You might slap me because of these gifts, but malay mo, I might just get lucky too."
I believe that gifts are more than just trivial tokens. I believe they can be tools to unleash a girl’s kamanyakan. So what if she’s the shy type? Ganito kasi yan: An undersexed girl is hornier than an oversexed one. Mas marami silang mailalabas na kalibugan!
Especially schoolgirls. They can get sooooo cray-cray!
So thank God we never run out of occasions to give gifts: Christmas, Valentine’s, birthdays, anniversaries, and all those other holidays that Hallmark has a card for.
However, you don’t really have to wait for a special occasion to give a libog-liberating gift. You can try to unleash the manyak in your girl anytime! And sometimes you've just got to breathe hard and pray that she gets the signal you're trying to send (read: "please pork with me").
7 Gifts To Bring Out The Manyak In Her
You don’t have to buy her jewelry or expensive gadgets. What are you, a rich, dirty old man?! And no need to sell your kidney to buy a gift that will make her think happy–even dirty–thoughts. Here are seven things you can give her that just might unleash her inner libog.
1) Gift certificate for an overnight stay at a motel
If she innocently claims that she’s never been to a motel, give her a gift card to a nearby inn. She just might use it to satisfy her curiosity.
Why it will work: Guess whom she’ll think of when she gets bored? Eh di siyempre, ikaw!
Or you might just end up having dinner alone,
while she goes to the motel with your neighbor
Even a naive virgin will be more fascinated than disgusted by a condom. If she asks why you gave her one, tell her that because you care for her and you want to keep her “protected.”
Why it will work: Whenever she thinks about sex, she will think of you by association. Hindi na masama!
Or she will think of you as a Michael V.
character. We told you there's a risk
3) Lacy lingerie
This gift kills two birds with one stone: While it does spell out sexiness, it’s also something she can actually wear. Who knows? She might even use it out on your date.
Why it will work: When you hand her the bra and matching panty you picked out, ask her to try it on in front of you. You know, just to see if they fit and all.
Finally, an excuse to post a Megan Fox photo! Woot! Lingerie! Lingerie!